Absolute Zero
by GW-Imp
Summary: OZ has rendered Heero unable to talk, walk, or pilot correctly. But slowly, the other pilots are beginning to see something in the place of all that was taken. Something that might mean the end for them all. NOW WITH CH 8!
1. Descent

Absolute Zero  
by GW-Imp  
  


Disclaimer: I _wish I owned Gundam Wing. But of course, I don't, and I never said I did._

Notes: As usual, this is a non romantic, non yaoi fic. I have added some things that can be taken as shounen-ai but in all truthfulness, they are not. I've been getting a lot of complaints of Heero seeming to be too innocent. I would like to _remind you that this is an Out Of Character fic for Heero and that __means **Out Of Character. **_

1. Descent

          Heero vaguely listened to the noise of the battle going on around him, blood oozing slowly from his ears. His body was shaking from the electricity ripping through his organs. And through all the pain and suffering, the feeling of being smothered, all the heart-stopping, mind-numbing, excruciating pain his mind held onto the events, the mistakes and miscalculations that had dumped him into the pit he was in now. He remembered all too clearly the message he had received from Dr. J warning him of a new weapon advancement OZ was making. An electrified, retractable whip mounted on either arm of the mobile doll. They had all made extensive and precise preparations for dealing with the situation. Every movement had been planned out; they all knew exactly what to do. The idea was to keep OZ from completing its new weapon and destroying the data. It had been easy to get back ups of the info and destroy all the original copies that OZ still had. In fact, to Heero it had seemed _too easy. His suspicions proved to be correct; OZ had deliberately allowed the pilots to steal their data. They had falsified their documents to make it appear as though they had not yet completed the new weapon when in fact it had been finished a good while beforehand. And who better to test the new product on than the pilots it had been designed to combat in the first place?_

          Heero recounted as many errors and mistakes as he could before his mind began to slip away. His body was going numb and yet every nerve was on fire; the electricity coursing through him was unbearable. From time to time, when the red cleared, the deep red that he knew to be his own blood, he caught glimpses of another gundam. It was wielding its scythe-like weapon almost carelessly, its pilot disgusted with Heero's fate. When there was less blood pouring out of his ears, he could hear Duo's voice. It was faint but he could hear the emotional charge in it. Duo was telling him to fight back, to move, to do something…but there was nothing he could do. There were twelve of the vines feeding electricity into the gundam; all its systems were overloading, its armor was beginning to melt and he himself was being electrocuted. Soon he could process nothing, his mind was so scrambled. Flashes of his life and Duo yelling at him rippled violently through his mind. The Zero system was still sending information to his failing brain, useless now because of his inability to move. He felt the mobile dolls release Wing Zero, a small jerk as they were destroyed from behind both by Deathscythe and a few mobile suits stolen by the other pilots. The freed gundam floated lifelessly through space. Amidst the jumble of sensations, one bubbled up and grew, rising to the surface. He was falling… Heero was falling slowly, eternally…he imagined the ground rushing up at him… Then suddenly there was pain. It consumed him quickly, bringing him back to reality. The same word was flashing all around him. _Downloading the sirens screamed at him, __downloading, downloading…his head tossed involuntarily, trying to escape the blinding lights bombarding his eyes. __Downloading, system downloading…_

          "MAKE IT STOP!!" He couldn't even hear his own voice crying out. He was breaking, losing himself, his strength, his mind, his entire being was dissolving. '_Falling, I'm falling…' His eyes were forced wide open only to be met with huge green  numbers scrolling down the screen. Ones and zeros whizzed by, the very foundation of the Zero system. And there still, in front of all of them was the word downloading, blinking on and off, constantly, never ceasing, driving him insane. It reflected in his eyes, in his mind, it was enveloping him, taking him over, becoming a part of him, seizing control. His body twitched unnaturally. '__I am falling…into darkness…'_

***

          Duo had undone his safety restraints before Deathscythe even touched the ground.

          "Don't you die on me Heero…" he growled, jumping from the open cockpit to the muddy grass below. "You've never been able to kill yourself before now, this ain't the time to do it right…" He stopped short before reaching Wing Zero. Its cockpit was opening.  
          "Heero…come on buddy, I know you're okay…" A small figure, shadowed by the canopy of the trees, emerged from the severely damaged gundam. It stood there for a moment before its balance began to waver. Heero plummeted just as the other pilots ran into the clearing, having ditched the mobile suits. Duo watched in horror as Heero's limp form fell, bouncing off of Wing Zero in several places. His feet carried him recklessly toward the jerking body on the ground. The other three pilots crowded around them as Duo pulled the helmet still crackling with electricity from Heero's head. Heero's eyes were open but Duo could see almost none of the deep blue that his irises possessed; his eyes were rolled back impossibly far, the muscles having gone wild like all the others affected by the seizure. It took a moment for Duo to lift the shaking boy, his space suit covered with slick, glossy blood that threatened his grip. Once Heero was in his arms his head lolled haphazardly, foam spurting randomly from his open mouth. His chocolaty brown hair, which had previously been standing straight up on his head, now pulled toward the metallic areas of Duo's own suit.

          "This is bad…" Duo murmured. "We need to get him to a hospital _now." The other pilots seemed to agree. They were near the safehouse so they went there first to try to locate a nearby hospital. Heero's body shook furiously with wild tremors as they moved along. It was as though he had absolutely no control over his limbs at all. Duo's own heart nearly stopped when he thought Heero's missed a beat. He was determined not to lose the boy, his companion, his ally, his friend…he was willing to do almost anything to save him. He partially blamed himself for not anticipating what had happened. Why hadn't he seen that the mobile suits had been distracting him, diverting his attention, luring him away from Wing? It was all so the mobile dolls could move in and do exactly what they had done. Only instead of killing Heero, they had left him helpless and unable to function. Aside from the fact that this was much like death anyway, since he was still alive he could feel pain. He was suffering and could do nothing to help himself. Those soldiers would pay for what they had done to Heero, Duo vowed silently. One thing was for sure; OZ had not seen the last of the Great Shinigami._

          "Please…" Heero's voice was becoming hoarse. Duo looked down at the pained expression on the Japanese boy's face. "Make it stop…" A pang of guilt and fear split Duo's insides. "Make it stop…" Heero almost fell from Duo's arms as he launched into another fit of seizures. He needed help fast, faster than they could get it to him. And he didn't want to think about what would happen should they be even a second too late…

          "Don't worry buddy, you're going to be just fine, I promise you."

***

          Heero walked calmly through the intimidating darkness. Empty blackness stretched on in every direction, clouding his mind, trapping him in this one narrow place. Step by step he squeezed his way through the wide open area, cramped in infinite space. The sound of his footsteps echoed off of invisible walls, walls that he was sure were not there. He couldn't see or feel the barriers, which is why he didn't believe they existed. But there was definitely something standing in between him and his memories. A small green ball bounced quietly into his path. A boy equally as small walked up behind it. The boy lifted his head slightly, his eyes still hidden by messy brown hair. His tiny voice came as a shock to Heero.

          "Hello." he said. "Hello." Heero nodded as a way of acknowledging the greeting. He watched carefully as the boy's head raised further. There was a brief hint of a dark blue under the hair, under long, full eyelashes.

          "Wake up."  
  
          Heero's eyelids snapped open. '_I'm alive…' he observed. He stared up at the white hospital lights for a moment. From nowhere came an insulting, aggravating noise as his bed contracted, forcing him to sit up. A doctor and several nurses stood in front of him but they were far away, too far to reach. They were standing at the foot of the hospital bed. '__Why did it take so long?' he wondered. '__It took so long to realize…why did it take so long?' The doctor moved closer to him, a small grin spreading over his weather-beaten face, pushing up his rather thick glasses._

          "How are you feeling…?" He took a moment to check a clipboard. "How are you feeling, Heero?" The man looked back up from his clipboard, still smiling that pure, sincere smile. All he received was a blank stare. The boy's mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes were wide, giving the impression of an infantile innocence that no teen could possess. The mocha colored hair covering his head still stood on end though not as rigidly as before. His smile faltered.

          "Heero, do you understand me?" Heero's arm twitched and then he was completely still. '_I am not here…' the soldier boy thought. '__Part of me is gone. I am not whole. I am not here…' The doctor now walked right up to Heero's side. He produced a tiny flashlight, clicked it on and shined it in Heero's left eye. The pupil contracted as it should have, but it was nearly three seconds before it did so when it should have reacted instantly. All traces of his smile vanished, replaced by a frown.  
          "Nurse, it appears he has suffered some brain damage." A young blonde nurse stepped forward.  
          "How bad do you think it is, doctor?" Her face pulled into an expression of fear as she watched the doctor slump in a hopeless manner such as she had never seen before. She waited several moments but received no reply._

          Duo nearly rocketed out of his seat in the waiting room as the emergency doors swung open and a few people walked through. 

          "Is Heero okay?" he demanded. "Can we see him?" One of the elderly gents nodded.

          "But I feel I must warn you…" he said in a voice so laden with wisdom it was deeper than it seemed its owner could make it. "You may not like what you see." Duo nodded and braced himself for all the scars Heero would have and all the blood that would be covering him. All of that he could have dealt with easily. But what he saw when Heero was brought forth filled him with so many incontrollable emotions he could not have told himself what he was feeling. There was no blood, there were no scars but it seemed to Duo that there was no Heero either. The boy that sat quietly staring out into space from the seat of a wheelchair, mouth partially open, hair resembling a hedgehog could not _possibly be Heero Yuy. Heero would __never have allowed himself to be reduced to such a state. The braided American could barely find the words to speak._

          "What's…wrong with him?" Duo asked quietly. The man who had spoken first answered him.

          "I apologize to you all. But it seems that Heero has become autistic." A small, half-hearted laugh blew through Duo's lips as his cobalt eyes traveled to the floor.

          "Well then maybe he can become a famous painter." His voice carried deep resentment. Quatre stepped toward Duo.

          "Duo, he doesn't mean _artistic -." Trowa silenced Quatre by shaking his head. Wufei stated what Trowa had already observed._

          "He knows what the doctor meant." Dark blue eyes moved over Duo's stiff form. The mind controlling them didn't recognize the information they sent to it. Who was this person standing in front of him? He felt as though the boy was not completely alien to him. There was definitely something familiar about him. But his mind was working too slowly and there was something on top of his memories, something suppressing them and holding them down. His mouth moved involuntarily, trying to form words. The other four pilots stared at him in wonder as an almost inaudible sound floated from Heero's throat.

          "Two…"

***

          That night all the pilots had returned to the safehouse, currently one of the Winner mansions on earth. There was much debate over what Heero had said and also over his condition. For some reason, unknown as of yet, the Wing pilot's brain was functioning at over two times its natural capacity. Despite the extra work it was doing, his motor skills had dropped severely. All his movements were very slow and sometimes clumsy, speech was near impossible and writing and typing were out of the question. As they all sat down to dinner that night, Duo had to feed Heero. If no one did anything, pilot one would simply sit and stare blankly at his plate. They were unsure of whether he only sat there because he couldn't feed himself or didn't want to eat and that, among other things, led to an argument. Only Duo seemed to be on Heero's side; the other three boys knew that in his present condition Heero was of no use in the war. Duo however, didn't want to see that. He believed that Heero would recover and all would be fine. Duo slowly raised a spoonful of potatoes to Heero's mouth. The Japanese boy turned his head slightly, keeping his mouth closed.

          "I guess he's full." Duo mumbled, sitting the spoon back onto Heero's plate.

          "He's barely eaten anything, how can he be full?" Wufei asked.  
          "Look Wufei, I'm not going to _force him to eat. If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to."_

          "And if he doesn't want to pilot Wing, is he exempt from that too? That is, if he can still pilot it." For this, Wufei received a murderous glare.

          "He can still pilot the gundam." Quatre interrupted the two boys by clearing his throat.

          "Duo," he said. "Heero has become autistic. Realistically, if he can't even talk, he won't be able to pilot his gundam."

          "But he _can talk. We all heard him say 'two'." Wufei snorted at Duo's argument._

          "We don't know he said the number two. He could have said to, as in a direction or he may have said too, meaning also."

          "He may not have said a word at all." Trowa added quietly.

          "He _did say a word, he said TWO! Why can't you all accept that?"  
          "Why can't __you accept that he's not the same as before?!" Wufei shot back._

          "I know he doesn't act the same way but inside he's still Heero!"

          "Look at him! Look in his eyes and tell me if you see ANY sign of the Heero that we know. He probably doesn't even know who WE are!! How could he know who he is?!" The heated words flew back and forth. Quatre tried as best as he could to quell the arguing while Trowa only added facts from time to time. No one noticed the pained look that had crossed Heero's face. There was no observation of how he began to rock back and forth, his breathing becoming faster. They didn't even quiet themselves as the silver ware on the table started to tremble. 

          "You're only defending him because you feel like this is _your fault!" Wufei accused.  
          "You take that back right now! Heero is still Heero and he's a better pilot than you'll ever be and you know it!! He didn't need me."_

          "If he's such a good pilot then why is he a retard right now?!"

          "HE IS NOT A RETARD!!"

          "You guys, calm down! Arguing won't get us anywhere!"

          "SHUT UP!" both Wufei and Duo yelled in unison. Trowa's emerald eyes narrowed.

          "Don't yell at Quatre because you two can't deal with your issues."

          "Stop…" Heero mumbled. His words went unnoticed.

          "Well I don't see Quatre giving any solutions to the problem at hand!"

          "There _is no problem right now! Heero is FINE!"_

          "Duo, I told you before, Heero is autistic! That's a serious mental handicap."

          "It isn't as though Quatre isn't helping at all; he _did pay for Heero's hospital bill."_

          "But paying the bill isn't going to allow Heero to function correctly is it?!"

          "Are you deaf Wufei, or are you just dumb? I just _told you that Heero is fine!!" Heero's dark colored hair stood on end as he slid his hands over his ears._

          "Stop it…stop it…stop it…" Still, too engrossed in the fight, the others paid no attention to Heero's actions. The over hanging lights flickered briefly as the silver ware began to bend awkwardly.

          "Heero is NOT fine! HE CAN'T EVEN SAY A COMPLETE SENTENCE ANYMORE!"

          "YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE HIM A CHANCE!"

          "Will both of you stop fighting?!"

          "We need to prove to this idiot that Heero isn't Heero anymore!!"

          "Damn it Wufei, he IS still Heero!" Finally Heero could take it no longer.

          "STOP!!" All words died in their owners' throats as a stream of white sparks shot into the air in the room behind them. The television's plug fizzled loudly for a moment before blowing itself from the socket in a small explosion. The chandelier swinging above them blinked on and off, its power supply being interrupted. Duo was the first to look in Heero's direction. The dark haired boy was hunched over, eyes squeezed shut, his entire body trembling. He reached out a hand to touch the shaking boy.

          "Heero…" The distraught pilot pulled away quickly. He grunted in pain and clutched his throbbing skull. Duo and the others backed away quickly as the silver ware began to bounce wildly on the table. Heero was now staring wide eyed at the table, still holding his head in his hands. He looked as though some one was holding a statically charged balloon over his head; every strand of his hair was standing out, though not straight up. It remained this way for a few seconds before dropping back into its previous position. A few drops of sweat plopped quietly onto the table as he sat there panting. Duo moved slowly, so as not to excite Heero further. Delicately he stepped toward the other boy.

          "Heero…" he ventured. "Are you alright?"

          "Tired…" the boy puffed. "Tired…" Duo nodded and helped Heero from the chair. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei watched in astonishment as the American pilot led Heero to the room they shared, seemingly unfazed by what had just occurred. 

          "Did Heero really do that?" Quatre wondered aloud.

          "He couldn't have…" Wufei responded. "TV's blow fuses all the time. Maybe there was a power surge. That would explain why the light is blinking. Besides…no normal person could do that."

          "But…" Trowa interjected. "Heero's not a normal person anymore."

***

          Once again Heero found himself in the pitch black space of his dreams. He glanced back and forth, infinite darkness the only thing his eyes could pick up. 

          "You're back." He whipped around to face the person the voice belonged to. The little boy giggled, hiding his identity behind the neon green ball.

          "Who are you?" Heero inquired. He noticed his voice was softer than it usually was. Another quiet giggle reached his ears.

          "Will you play with me?" The child's voice floated to him from behind the ball.

          "Tell me who you are."  He watched the boy turn away from him.

          "Will you play with me?" The ball dropped from his hands and bounced. A violent flash of light tore through Heero's mind. With a hand on his forehead he stumbled back.

          "Will you play with me?" The boy let go of the ball again. Searing pain split Heero's head open as the toy hit the floor. He fell to one knee.

          "Who _are you?!" Wires and cables slithered out of the thick blackness surrounding them. The boy continued to bounce the ball, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were headed straight for him._

          "I'm just a little boy…" The wires rose up around the tiny body. "A nameless little boy…" Electricity fizzled at their ends. The boy's small head turned toward Heero. "I'm just a little boy –." What tiny light there was reflected in the boy's eyes as they widened, the wires having sliced through his fragile body. Heero could see only the boy's profile silhouetted against the darkness, shadow on shadow. His head tilted back slightly before he began to fall forward. The ball rolled away silently.

          "Just a little boy…" he murmured before hitting the floor. "…who wants to play…"

          Kicking the covers off of himself Heero scrambled out of bed. He took refuge in a corner and held his knees close to his body, staring straight ahead as he rocked back and forth. Perspiration glistened on his face. What was that? That dream…it was horrifying. He couldn't go back to sleep. He shook his head violently.

          "No sleep…" he mumbled. '_I can't go back to sleep. Not with that dream there. Not if I'll be in that place again…I can't go back to sleep.' He looked up suddenly as if he had heard something. Almost in a trance he stood and walked downstairs. After a few minutes of searching, his fingers closed around a highlighter used for making battle plans. He had no idea what he was doing; it was as though his body was being controlled by someone else. Back upstairs he uncapped the bright yellow marker and began to write. His Prussian blue eyes stared at the symbols as he created them but didn't really see them. His hand moved rapidly along the walls._

          "No sleep…" His voice was as monotone as ever. "No sleep…" Duo remained where he was, his slumber unaffected by his companion's insomnia. He never noticed that Heero had awoken, nor what he was doing.

          "No sleep…" Heero repeated. "…until I play…"   
  
*It'll get better, I promise!*


	2. Cold

Thank you to the person who told me about that mistake with autism; I didn't know that. Everyone, think of it like this – Heero isn't literally autistic, but the brain damage makes him act somewhat like he is, okay? Good, on with the fic. ^____^

Absolute Zero

Continued

2. Cold

          With a contented sigh, Duo rolled over. He had rested wonderfully, though his dreams had threatened to turn on him without warning. Stretching, his lips spread into a small smile, squeezing his already closed eyes tighter. After the stretch and a brief yawn he opened his violet orbs to take in the sights the room had to offer.  
          "Good morning H -." His mouth froze. Stunned he sat up, not believing that what he was seeing could be real. Every inch of the pale lavender colored walls was covered in numbers. The same, bright green ones and zeros reached from side to side, from the floor to the ceiling; they reigned over the entire perimeter of the room. Legs shaking slightly, he pulled back the covers and stood. He moved toward the wall directly across from him in the large bedroom, the carpet dampening his footsteps. The sound of breathing to his right attracted his attention. He turned to see Heero lying on the floor, tracing his hand over the wall.  
          "Heero…?" Duo called. The boy ceased his motion then turned to look up at Duo. He said nothing. Duo walked over and squatted next to Heero. He could see that Heero had been in the process of creating the last zero that could fit onto the wall. The Japanese pilot finished off the number as Duo came to the realization that it was he who'd written the rest of it.

          "Hoo boy…" Duo breathed, running a hand through his hair. "I think I'm gonna just take this…" He reached for the highlighter slowly, so as not to upset Heero. Heero let Duo take it from him; he had no use for it any longer. Once again Duo scanned the room. How would he explain all this to Quatre? He swiveled around, his attention caught by the sound of feet pushing a body up the stairs.

          "Duo, I thought I would bring you both breakfast." Quatre called from the hallway. '_Oh man, it's Quatre! I can't let him see all this!!' Duo thought frantically. In a panic he rushed to the door and slammed it shut. Quatre stopped abruptly._

          "Duo, what are you doing?" he inquired. Duo locked the door, leaving sweat on the metal as he did so, and raked his mind for an excuse.

          "Uh…I'm not dressed!" This was true; he was still wearing only his boxers, not having had time to put on anything else. Quatre chuckled lightly.  
          "Well Duo, unless you're completely naked, I don't see why I can't come in." Duo thought the words over a moment and tried to come up with a response. He turned to lean against the door and jumped.  
          "Geez Heero, don't sneak up on me like that!" Heero only stared blankly at the distressed boy. His inquisitive blue eyes moved passed the American to the door.  
          "Duo, are you getting dressed? Just let me in, I've seen you in your night clothes before." Duo winced at the sound of Quatre's voice.  
          "Just a minute!" He yelled. He knew he couldn't keep Quatre out forever; that would make him more suspicious than he already was. And seeing how it _was Quatre's house, it would probably be easier to just let him see it._

          "Alright, I'll let you in…" Duo told him. "But you ain't gonna like what you see…" Slowly he turned around and unlocked the door. Quatre entered cheerfully.

          "Now, that wasn't so hard was it?" The young blonde moved to set the tray of food down on top of a dresser. Duo watched his body stiffen, his skin paling quickly. He thought for sure Quatre would drop the food but his knuckles became whiter than any other part of his body as he gripped the metal. He pivoted slowly, taking in what Heero had done to his room.

          "Duo…" he breathed. "What _is this?!" Duo ran his hand though his messy bed of hair._

          "Well as near as I can figure, it's some sorta computer code." He shrugged as the words left his mouth.

          "D………Did you let him do this?! Weren't you _watching him?!"_

          "Hey, just hold on _one second! Why'd you assume Heero did it?!" Quatre turned and gave Duo a look that said he couldn't believe Duo had really asked him that._

          "Duo, did you think I would assume _you went and wrote all over the walls?" Duo took a moment to consider this. Quatre shook his head._

          "Never mind that." he said. Turning back to the walls he added, "What's more important is finding out what it all means…" 

          "So ya don't care about the walls?" Duo asked. He sighed, relieved, and broke into a smile. "When I saw you gettin' all tense, I thought you were gonna lose it."

          "Well…I'm a little upset about the walls. The room was just repainted a few days ago." He shot a meaningful look in Duo's direction. "But they can be painted again. Right now I'm more concerned with why Heero would write all of this. And…" He sat the food down and walked slowly toward one of the walls, his hand outstretched. "Look at how…_perfect it is. Everything is perfectly aligned in columns and rows." And so it was. Every figure was precisely placed. None of the rows went down too far or up to far; they were all exactly parallel to the line formed by the wall and ceiling. Duo moved next to Quatre._

          "Yeah…I never even noticed!" He scratched his head. "How'd he reach that high?"

          "He must've stood on something…" Looking around Quatre saw a small step ladder. Heero watched them both from Duo's bed. Had he done something wrong? Why were they so interested in what he had drawn? He couldn't understand why it was so important to them. To him it was nothing more than something he'd seen in his mind. One of those visions when he closed his eyes… '_No, don't think about that, no sleep, no sleep, no dreams, don't think about that, not that…' Hands sweating, he pulled his knees to his chest and took deep breaths. '__Don't fall back into the darkness.' he told himself silently. _

          "Duo…" Quatre began. "Why don't you take Heero out for a walk while we copy this down? I'll call some one to repaint the room when we're done. Don't worry about your things; I'll have them moved to another room." Duo nodded in agreement with Quatre's suggestion and made for the food that had been cooling on the dresser top. After grabbing a plate, he plopped down on the bed next to Heero.

          "Ya can't expect me to do anything without breakfast, can ya?" Quatre smiled slightly as Duo grinned and dug into the food. It was not long before Duo stopped eating his own meal, having realized that Heero wasn't eating. 

          "Hey Heero, ya gonna eat or not? Come on buddy, it's good for ya." Duo offered the other plate to Heero but the other boy made no motion to take it. "Come on, Heero…" Quatre stepped toward Heero.

          "Heero, please eat something. You need energy." Deep blue eyes turned toward Quatre as he approached. Quatre stopped suddenly as their eyes met and a bright light flashed before him. Duo gave him a curious glance.

          "Quatre?" he called. Quatre blinked furiously, trying to re-orient himself.

          "I think -." He stumbled backward as light streaked through his mind once more. "_Will you play with me?" The words echoed faintly in his ears. Gingerly he placed a hand on his temple. After a moment he looked up at Heero. The former first pilot was staring silently at a number covered wall, no sign of any emotion on his face._

          "Take him outside when you're done eating. Watch him closely." Duo stared after Quatre in awe as he turned to leave, unaccustomed to hearing his voice in the tone with which he had just spoken.

***

          As he and Heero moved along through the forest surrounding the Winner mansion, birds chirping and animals scurrying about, Duo chattered on about seemingly random things in hopes that Heero was listening and could understand him. Heero trudged slowly behind Duo, his eyes fixed on the damp soil beneath his shoes. He really wasn't enjoying this little stroll. Numerous times he had tripped and stumbled, his mind not quick enough to tell his feet to step over things, but Duo had always been there to catch him. The sensation of the other boy's skin coming in contact with his own was overwhelmingly unnerving. Duo had learned quickly that if he needed to catch Heero he had better let go of him immediately; a couple of faint bruises served as reminders. The first time Duo caught him, Heero had erupted into a fit of wild flailing. One thing was for sure, Heero was still as strong as he had been before the incident. He couldn't understand why Heero hated the contact so much; he acted as though something was trying to crawl under his skin. But even stranger to him was the fact that he always received a small static shock whenever he did touch Heero. Deciding it wasn't worth worrying over he continued to ramble good-naturedly, denying that he stopped thinking about it because he was afraid of the answer.

          After a while, the forest thinned and gave way to a wide open meadow. Here, Duo sat in the grass while Heero wandered a bit. 

          "When you're better, you'll be able to get back to your gundam, you know." Heero kneeled in the grass as Duo spoke. "It's still waitin' for ya. Don't listen to Wufei – you know how he is. And don't listen to anybody who tells ya you're not gonna get better. Cuz we both know you are, right Hee-chan?" Heero stood slowly, his hands cupped together, and moved toward Duo. "But in some ways, it's kinda nice havin' ya like this. Usually you get all "I'll kill you" if I call you Hee-chan." He flashed his signature grin. Heero stopped within a foot of Duo and stared down into his hands. Duo got up and peered over the edge of Heero's fingers.

          "What ya got there, Heero?" The boy did not answer but Duo could see for himself what it was. A small, brown mouse was sitting there, trembling like a leaf in the wind. Duo thought for a moment that the mouse's movement was too wild and jerky to be caused by fear. He started to lean closer to get a better look at it but Heero pulled away as soon as he sensed Duo getting too near to his arms. Straightening back up Duo said,

          "I dunno if you'll be able to keep it. You already messed up Quatre's walls, he probably doesn't want a bunch a mouse pies all around the house…" Heero remained silent, staring intently at the ball of fur in his hands. As Duo watched, the mouse slowly began to calm down and after a moment wasn't moving at all. He smiled, won over by the way the mouse seemed to be comforted by Heero.

          "Alright, bring him with us. I'll talk to Quatre – he won't mind a little mouse, eh?" A soft ringing broke the silence. Duo pulled a cell phone from his pocket, opened it, and held it up to his ear.

          "Hello there, you've reached the Maxwell Hotline where we make you hot to the max. Press one if you're a single chick, press two if you're a single chick with a sister, press three if you're a single chick with a sister and a best friend –." Wufei's irate voice cut Duo off.  
          "Come back to the safehouse now, baka." A grin spread across Duo's face as Wufei hung up.

          "I'll be there at midnight – wear something 'comfortable'." Laughing quietly, he put the phone away and turned to Heero.

          "Alright buddy, looks like they're ready to have us back." Still staring down at the mouse in his hands, Heero walked toward Duo, ready to follow him back to the safehouse. Duo and his incessant chatter led the way.

***

          It was two in the afternoon when Duo and Heero returned to Quatre's mansion. While Duo ate lunch and the others worked on the code, Heero was left almost completely unattended. Duo tried his best to watch Heero but he soon found himself as caught up in figuring out the code as everyone else. The messy haired boy sat alone in the room adjacent to the one all the others were in and played with his mouse. More accurately, he _tried to play with the little creature; no matter what he did, he couldn't get it to move. He looked up as the door opened and Quatre stepped through, looking rather tired. Heero stood as the boy ran a hand through his blonde hair, letting out a sigh as he did so. As Quatre opened a small refrigerator to retrieve some sodas, Heero picked his mouse up and walked over to him. Quatre jumped slightly as he turned, holding the drinks, to find Heero right behind him._

          "Oh Heero," he breathed, smiling slightly. "I didn't know you were in here." He noticed that Heero was staring downward. He lowered his eyes and found what Heero was looking at. "I see you've made a new friend!" Quatre said in as chipper a tone he could muster. "Does he have a name?"  
          "…cold…" Heero mumbled. Quatre blinked his aquamarine eyes in confusion.

          "His name is…Cold? That's an odd name for a mouse, don't you think?" Heero shook his head slowly.

          "It's cold…" he said. Quatre nodded, now understanding what Heero was saying.

          "Come with me, I'll get you a jacket." He started to turn to leave but once again Heero shook his head.

          "It's cold…" He held up the mouse so Quatre could see it.

          "Oh, I see." Quatre sat the sodas down and reached up slowly to take the mouse from Heero. "The mouse is cold. Well don't worry, we'll find someplace warm to put him." With a reassuring smile he took the little rodent and began to think of ways to warm it up. But his thoughts kept straying. Something was wrong with this situation. Hesitantly he glanced down at the mouse. If it was cold it should have been shivering but it wasn't moving at all. As far as he could tell it wasn't even breathing. Gently he pulled on one of its legs. The appendage was very stiff; it felt as though it might snap at his touch. Heero glanced anxiously back and forth between the mouse and Quatre's ever more somber face. Quatre saw him and quickly put on a smile.

          "Wait right here Heero, I'll be back in a second!" He strode back into the other room before Heero could respond. The other three pilots looked up at him as he entered.

          "Hey, where're the sodas?" Duo inquired. Looking closer he could see that Quatre was holding Heero's mouse. "Oh uh, sorry man, I meant to tell you -."  
          "Heero can't keep this mouse." Quatre stated flatly.

          "Come on Quatre, he's been through a lot and the little guy makes him happy." Duo pleaded. Quatre shook his head.

          "Duo, you don't understand. He can't keep this mouse." This time Quatre's voice was a bit more earnest.

          "Look, I don't see why -."  
          "It's _dead, Duo!" Quatre hissed. Duo stared at him blankly for a moment before getting out of his seat and moving toward him._

          "How can it be dead? It was alive just a little while ago…"

          "This mouse has been dead for hours. It's already stiff!" Duo nodded after touching the mouse.

          "Well how are we gonna explain it to Heero?"  
          "I don't know…I don't know how he'll respond to death now." Wufei snorted quietly.

          "He's in a war. He deals with death everyday."

          "But that was before…the incident…" Quatre protested.

          "Don't try to shelter him from it!" Wufei stood and walked toward Duo. "If you're going to treat him like he's still himself…" he snatched the mouse from Duo.

          "Hey!" Duo exclaimed. Wufei headed for the room Heero was still in.

          "…Then you can't keep him from parts of himself!" Wufei finished. Heero watched them all file in. Wufei held his hand up to Heero's eye level with the mouse on his palm.

          "You see this mouse Heero?" he demanded. Heero stared at the lifeless ball of fur in Wufei's hand. "It's dead. This mouse is dead." Heero blinked a few times.

          "It's cold…" he murmured.

          "It isn't just cold, Heero, it – is – dead. That means it will never move again. It will never run again, it will never eat again, it will never play again – it's dead, Heero. The mouse is dead." The other boys watched warily as Heero took in what Wufei had said. Heero's hands rose, trembling, to take the mouse from Wufei. Wufei turned his hand over, letting the animal fall. Once Heero had the mouse he stared down at it as he had before. But now he saw something new. It was very vague but he could see bits and pieces of it. Instead of a little brown mouse there was a brown puppy. He was carrying it for some reason. There was pain, guilt…he had done something…something wrong… A little girl…a flower… He closed his eyes and tried to will the visions away but they kept coming.  An explosion…the building was falling… no, no that's not what was supposed to happen…she wasn't supposed to die! Heero lifted his head, his face set in a deep scowl, hot tears burning the ends of his eye lashes. Wufei's own dark eyes locked with Heero's and it seemed as though all the information in the world passed through his mind in a split second. His face took on a confused expression.  

          "…Heero…?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Then for no apparent reason his eyes glazed over and he fell forward, unconscious. 

          "Whoa…" Duo mumbled. He caught Wufei before he could hit the floor. When he looked at Heero again, the Asian boy was sitting on the floor, eyes fixed on the dead mouse in his hands, rocking back and forth calmly. 

          "Come on…" Quatre said, interrupting the silence. "Let's take Wufei somewhere where we can lie him down." He bent down to catch hold of Wufei's legs and helped Duo carry him out of the room. Trowa watched them take Wufei away quietly. His ever observant green eyes turned slowly on the distraught boy. Heero's head swiveled around and Prussian blue met emerald green. Trowa jumped and turned his head back quickly, as though he had just been given a small electric shock. His slightly widened eyes concentrated hard on the floor as he tried to organize his scrambled thoughts. Heero's hate-filled gaze followed him as he shuffled out of the room with two fingers caressing his temple. As soon as Trowa could think clearly again he began to wonder what had shaken him so. Had Heero done that to him? It didn't seem possible but he reminded himself of his own words – Heero wasn't a normal person anymore. Wufei's voice caught his attention. He stopped in the doorway to listen.

          "It happened so fast…" the Chinese boy was saying.

          "What did you see?" Quatre asked.

          "He…shot me." Duo laughed quietly at Wufei's comment.

          "You must've been hallucinating, Wu-man." Wufei shot a glare in Duo's direction.

          "No, I wasn't. It was too real to be a hallucination. He pulled out his gun and shot me!"

          "But Wufei, if you really had been shot, wouldn't you at least be bleeding?" Quatre argued. Wufei's brow furrowed. 

          "I know what I saw…but I didn't just see it. I felt it. I felt the bullet go through me!" He placed a hand over his chest where the sensation had been, as if trying to find the place he'd been damaged; the pain of the metal slicing through his heart still lingered, though the wound did not. Trowa spoke up from his position by the door.

          "I saw something too, Wufei." He said. "It even felt real." The fifth pilot tensed, knowing what Trowa was going to say. Trowa stopped him before he could speak.

          "It wasn't real, Wufei." Wufei sighed and resigned. "It wasn't real."

          "Alright, it wasn't real." Wufei began. "So what was it?"

***

          Heero's dark blue eyes opened slowly. He was met with darkness. Why was he back in this place? Why couldn't he escape this place?

          "There's no way out of this place." The tiny voice was too familiar. Hesitantly Heero turned his eyes upon the boy, expecting to see again the horrific slaughter he'd seen before. But the boy was perfectly fine. He wasn't damaged in any way. The child still hid his face behind the ball.

          "What do you mean there's no way out of this place?" Heero received a mysterious giggle in response.

          "_There **is**__ no way out…" Heero whipped around in the direction the voice came from but saw no one._

          "_There is **no**__ way…" Again Heero spun around, trying to locate the speaker._

          "_No way out…" The boy laughed as Heero turned this way and that trying to find the source of the voice. __No way out, no way **out**__, there is no way, there **is**__ no..._

          "There is no way out of this place." Heero's eyes came to rest on the boy as he repeated what he had first said.

          Duo looked up from the gun he was cleaning. He'd thought Heero had moved. But his eyes told him that the sleeping boy was lying calmly on his bed, his slumber undisturbed. With a dismissive shrug he turned back to the task at hand. He knew he'd need the gun again sooner or later. Preferably sooner; he didn't want to wait too long in making OZ regret what they had done to Heero.

          "Who are you?" Heero demanded, taking a step forward. As he had before, the child turned his back to Heero and began to bounce the ball.

          "Will you play with me?"

          "Why do you keep asking me that? Who _are you?"_

          "Will you play with me?" Heero shook his head this time.

          "No, not until you tell me who you are." For a moment, the only sound was that of the ball hitting the floor. Then, without warning, the boy spoke.

          "Will you play with me…?" His head turned slightly. "…_Heero?" Heero felt himself retreat a step though he had not consciously decided to do so._

          "_Heero…" The name echoed inside his head. "Will you play with me, __Heero?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion. _

          "How do you know my name?" The boy laughed at Heero's question as he turned the remaining distance to face him.

          "Because, _Heero…" His mouth twisted into a horrid sneer. "I __am you." The blue eyes which had narrowed now widened in disbelief. How could this child be him? Looking closer, he could see that the boy __did look like him but…he was wrong. This was not how he had been…he knew it._

          "_Heero…" He stepped away, shaking his head. "Because, __Heero…" This boy couldn't be him. "I __am you, __Heero…" It couldn't be true. He knew he wasn't this way. "Because I __am you, __Heero…" The ground gave way. His body tumbled into the cold, unwelcoming shadows around them. "I – __am – you…"_

          "HEERO!" Duo seized Heero's shaking body, and tried to wake him. He winced slightly as the familiar static shock that now accompanied touching the disabled boy rippled through his hands. The fit had come on unexpectedly; he had been lying perfectly still one moment and the next he was convulsing wildly. Quatre ran in as foam started to form around Heero's mouth.

          "What happened, Duo?!" He asked frantically. Duo pulled back as Heero's hands grazed his face.

          "Call an ambulance, would ya?!" Quatre nodded briefly and turned to do just that. 

          "Come on Heero…" Duo mumbled. "Why do you keep doing this?" The words escaped Heero's mind as the seizure continued and he drifted further into the darkness of his dreams. As he looked on, some men in white lab coats approached the boy. One took him by the hand and led him to a metallic chair covered with wires and plugs. Heero sat up slowly on the new floor he had landed on. The man who had led the child to the chair stood in front of him and talked to him as the others began to connect the wires to his body.

          "What are you doing?" Heero demanded. None of them seemed to hear him. A soft whine went up as the chair reclined. The boy's eyes widened considerably. The man's last words drifted to Heero's ears.

          "This may hurt a little." A loud thump sounded as electricity surged through the tiny body. Heero's hand went to his chest instinctively; a dull ache had arisen there.

          "Alright, charge it up!" One of the paramedics ordered. The defibrillator let out its customary high pitched wail as it began to charge once more. As the ambulance tore down the streets, the paramedics were doing all they could to keep Heero alive. Duo had forced his way into the ambulance with them and the other pilots were taking one of Quatre's cars.

          "Hey, why are you shocking him?! You're only supposed to do that if his heart stops!!" Duo cried. One of the men pushed Duo back with his arm.

          "Look kid, his heart _did stop. Now if you want it beating again, I suggest you back off and let us work." Duo nodded and sat back out of the way._

          "Clear!" He watched Heero's motionless body jump as the shock spread through him. The sound of steady beeping filled the tiny mobile room. There was a unanimous sigh.

          "Okay, we have a heartbeat, let's keep it up…" The defibrillator was set aside and an oxygen mask was readied in case it was needed. Sirens broke the silence of the night as the ambulance sped on toward its destination. 

          The boy's screams pounded furiously against Heero's eardrums. The men continued their experiment, oblivious to the pain it was causing. Finally, Heero could take it no longer.

          "Stop it!" He yelled. "Stop, _now!!" Without thinking he pushed off from the floor and made for the boy. He didn't know why he was acting this way. He had been trained not to let his emotions get in the way of rational thought – hadn't he? Blinking in confusion, he slowed to think. Had he just remembered something? A tortured cry shattered his musings and wonderings. As fast as he could make his legs move, he ran to the chair and began ripping the wires from it with his bare hands. The boy was almost free when he felt hands on his back. The men were trying to stop him. Determined to help the child, he fought against them but there were so many hands, so many, too many, he couldn't fight them all… His skin tingled where wires started to wrap around him._

          The other pilots stared on solemnly as Heero was wheeled away on a stretcher into the emergency ward, thrashing wildly and roaring words that no one could decipher. More and more nurses and doctors accumulated around the stretcher as it went; the few that had started out found him to be more than they could handle. 

          "I can't get the IV in his arm! His muscles are too tense!" One of the nurses exclaimed.

          "Keep trying!" A doctor responded. "He's too strong – if we don't get him sedated, we won't be able to help him." He held Heero's arm along with another nurse so that it could be strapped down. 

          "He's just a kid!" Yet another nurse cried. "He shouldn't be this strong!"

          "Just look at him – he's well built."

          "Maybe he's another one of those soldiers…do you think so? We've been getting a lot lately." The doctor who had spoken before interrupted them.

          "I don't see a soldier, and I sure as hell don't see an abnormally strong kid. What I see here is someone who needs help, not nurses to question him and not do their jobs!" The two women mumbled apologies and got back to work. Heero continued to kick and yell, fighting off the imaginary enemy from his nightmare.

          "NO!!" More and more cables seized him, coming from every direction. He pulled away, an expression of disgust forming on his face as the ever more numerous hands came in contact with his skin. His body was being pulled down, down into the darkness, down into the hellish pit where all sensation ceased, where he could not see, could not feel, could not think, down to where he was not alive, down to where he was missing, the black hole that had ensnared his memories…He was being swallowed whole.

          "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ME!!" Summoning all his strength, he lurched forward and was surprised not to feel any resistance. Floating silently, he opened his eyes and stared up at the small light that had somehow penetrated the heavy blanket of shadows. Though he couldn't hear it, all around him people sighed in relief as the sedative began to take effect. With wide eyes he watched a figure glide down to him. Its lengthy hair swirled slowly around its head as it moved, as though it were in water. It smiled at him.

          "You…" Heero breathed. "But you can't be…" A slender finger rose and perched gently on the person's lips. Frozen in disbelief, Heero stared on as the figure landed and started toward him. Its body solidified and he could see that it was wearing all white. Putting its hands in its pockets, it walked to him, still smiling that reassuring smile.

          "Are you…?" He couldn't bring himself to finish the question. A small laugh rose from the stranger's mouth, echoing slightly.

          "_I am if you want me to be."_

          "But…you're not." Heero shook his head. "No, you can't be – because if you are, you can't be here." Now the newcomer's face took on a more serious expression.

          "_Heero," It began. "__It doesn't matter who I am, or who you think I am. All that matters is that you know…"_

          "That I know what?" Heero inquired. 

          "…_that you know I am here to help you." Heero's eyes began to close and the figure faded slowly. The doctors and nurses exchanged glances as Heero's head rolled to the side, sleep overcoming his fear, and he murmured,_

          "…I know…Two…" One of the nurses scratched her head.

          "What do you think he meant by that?" The doctor stared at Heero for a moment.

          "I have no idea…" 


	3. Mind Games

Sorry this took so long, school's been a pain. I may repost this chapter; one scene just doesn't seem good enough to me. Oh well, enjoy this one.

Absolute Zero

Continued

3. Mind Games

          While Heero slept, doctors and nurses were constantly going in and out of his room. After they were sure his condition was stable, they began to go back and explore things they had noted beforehand, such as his strength. He was not inhumanly strong but he was much stronger than an average teen. Inferences of precise physical training rose from this observation. They made numerous notes about him: of Japanese descent, male, approximately 16 years of age… It came as a complete surprise to them to discover that, despite his near perfect physical condition, his mental condition was very abnormal. Long into the early morning hours doctors were still checking up on his mental stability. The dim gray sunlight of the dawn slipped through the blinds of Heero's room and shone on the backs of two men examining a few computer monitors. 

          "His brainwaves are unusually strong and they emanate from places that are normally dormant." One of them murmured, stroking his beard. 

          "Yes…" the other responded. "By all reason, he should be a vegetable."

          "And yet he moves, speaks…" The man shook his head. "It defies all laws of science."

          "I quite agree. His brain seems to be taking in extra sensory data. His mind should not be able to process it but…somehow it is."

          "Perhaps there is something special about his mind that allows him to process the extra information." Heero twitched in his sleep. He could hear a small voice calling out to him.

          "Heero…" it was saying. "Come play with me…" Frowning, the Japanese boy turned his head toward the brightening light coming through the window. "You _know you want to…you know you __want to…" Heero pulled against the restraints on his arms, wanting to cover his ears. _

          "What special properties do you suppose his mind has? I can't think of anything that would allow a person, especially one so young, to deal with that much excess data."

          "Maybe it has a funnel-like quality. The extra information is somehow focused into a compact stream that his mind can handle."

          "It sounds a little far-fetched…"

          "I know, but think about it. The extra brainwave output could be what focuses the extra sensory data. His brain is taking in more so it keeps balance by putting out more."  
          "Yes, that would explain the extra brain activity. But doctor, don't you think these brainwaves could be dangerous?"  The bearded gentleman pondered this question.

          "So far they don't seem to be harmful to him…but…"  
          "Yes? What are you thinking?"  
          "Do you suppose he could use those same focusing areas of his brain to create a wave of brainwaves?"

          "Did you say…a wave of brainwaves, sir?"

          "Yes, a strong output of electromagnetic waves."

          "Sir, what you're suggesting…is…impossible! Don't you know what that would be?"

          "Yes, yes, I'm aware of what it implies. But still…since it is so close…" The younger man shook his head.

          "I think you're reaching, sir. There is no way the boy could make a wave of energy like that. If he didn't crush his skull, surely his brain would die from overexertion."

          "No, the waves are small enough to permeate the skull without damaging it, you know that. That's how we know where waves are coming from in his brain. The focusing mechanism would make it so even more could get out at a time. And when they were released, it would be an explosion of energy! The waves would expand quickly and there would be so many –!"

          "It would be like a moving wall of magnetic and electrical energy. But it's just impossible for a human brain to do that. It would drain itself."

          "Unless it had some help…"

          "What kind of help, sir?"

          "If there were some other factor helping to focus all the energy, something that didn't come from the brain itself but was there…" The younger man shook his head again, trying to convince himself it was all impossible.

          "Even if there _was_ something helping to focus the waves, the extra electricity –!" he cried.

          "It would simply flow into the rest of the body as usual, which would also explain that shock we always get when we touch him…"

          "But the build up of magnetic energy –!"

          "Any extra magnetic waves could just drift off harmlessly. Who knows, that may be why his hair tends to stick up that way; it could be attracted to metallic items around it."

          "This is ridiculous, sir! You were reaching far before but now, you've just gone insane!"

          "Why don't you want to believe it? You can see it right here in front of you, why won't you accept it?" As the young doctor opened his mouth to reply, he saw the glare that the sunlight had made on the computer screen disappear. They both looked up to see what had moved between them and the light…

          Duo stared down at swirls made in his coffee as he stirred it. What was taking so long? Was Heero alright? He had so many unanswered questions.

          "I think it works better if you drink it." Quatre smiled as he spoke the words. Duo gave a small, short laugh.

          "I know, I'm gonna drink it…I just don't feel too well, that's all…" Quatre's nod showed his understanding of Duo's feelings.

          "I know you're worried Duo. We're all worried. But I'm sure Heero will be fine."

          "Thanks, Quatre." Duo lifted the cup and took a sip of the warm, cream colored liquid it contained. The blonde smiled then turned his head to gaze down the hallway Heero had gone through the previous night. His smile faded, replaced by a look of shock. The said boy was walking towards them, into the brightly lit, lavender and baby blue room, looking around as if trying to discern his location. Duo noticed Quatre's absence of motion.

          "Somethin' wrong, Quatre?" he asked. His eyes caught Heero's moving form and a smile spread across his face. He and the other pilots got up and walked over to the seemingly lost boy, relieved that they could get out of there before someone found out too much about them.

          "You had us a little worried there, Heero." Duo joked. The receptionist looked up at them quickly, making her glasses slip a bit.

          "May I have your name, young man?" she demanded, her tone suspicious. Heero stared down at the floor. Quatre stepped forward.

          "He should be listed as Heero Yuy. Can he leave now, miss?" he asked. "Has he been cleared?"

          "I'll have to check…" she murmured, continuing her examination of Heero. Slowly he lifted his head. She watched his navy blue irises appear intently, almost entranced by the small movement. The deep, black holes that were his pupils slid into view. The boys watched her jump as if someone had snuck up behind her and pinched her.

          "So, can he leave?" Quatre ventured. She blinked a number of times and stammered,

          "Y-yes, he can leave, t…take him."

          "You didn't look -."

          "No, I did, it's right here, see? He's free to go, so go on!" She made shooing motions with her hands and gave them an exaggerated grin. After exchanging glances, Duo and Quatre led Heero away from the desk. Trowa started after them reluctantly but Wufei stepped in front of him slightly, making him stop.

          "What is it?" Trowa asked.

          "Didn't that seem suspicious to you?" Wufei said in a low tone.

          "Yes; it was too easy."

          "Did you see how she jumped?" Trowa nodded at the question.

          "Like she saw the same thing we saw…" He raised his head to see Wufei giving him a meaningful stare.

          "We don't know it was Heero." he whispered. Wufei looked as though he might argue but remained silent and followed the others out of the hospital. 

***

          Later on, Quatre showed the other pilots some new information he had gathered.

          "The OZ soldiers managed to calculate almost exactly where we landed on our last mission." he was saying. "They've been making methodic sweeps of the area, looking for us. We're fairly well hidden here but Wing Zero is still out in the forest, right in plain sight."

          "Well, someone's gotta go move it, right?" Duo asked. Quatre nodded.

          "Now we need to decide who. We should take into consideration that whoever moves it will have to deal with the Zero system."

          "No problem, I'll move it!" 

          "Are you sure you can handle it? This system can really warp your perception of things – you know that."

          "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine." Duo grinned and put his thumb up.

          "Duo, I'm serious. Just one stray thought can take you way off course and you were affected most by Heero's…accident."

          "I'll move it." Trowa volunteered.

          "Think you can do it, man?" Duo asked as Trowa stood. He received no response as the soldier boy walked out the door.

          After about an hour of quiet walking, Trowa reached the gundam. It was still laying face up on the ground as it had been the day of the incident. Without hesitation, he jumped up to the cockpit, using various parts of the gundam for footholds. He wasn't at all surprised to see that the cockpit was still open. Calmly, he climbed in and strapped the restraints on. His fingers moved deftly across the control panel, closing the cockpit and starting the gundam up. Patiently he waited as the engines roared to life. The customary start up codes flashed across the screen as the machine's programs began to open. All seemed to be going well – then the Zero system froze in the middle of starting. 'Error', the screen read. Trowa frowned in confusion.

          Back at Quatre's mansion, the other pilots were eating. By some miracle, Duo had gotten Heero to feed himself. As the Wing pilot was lifting the fork to his mouth his arm twitched suddenly, tossing the food back onto his plate. Slowly he looked down at where the food had dropped and stared at it blankly. 

          Lacking a possible reason for the error, Trowa typed in a few more commands to try to reveal what had caused it. A few windows popped up but the last one froze before it had completely appeared. 'Error' flashed in front of him once more. An alarm began to sound in the cockpit. Red lights blinked on and off. 'Error', the screen repeated. 'Error'… Trowa shook his head slightly, not understanding why this was happening.

          Heero's head jerked up suddenly, his fingers twitching so violently they could no longer grasp the fork. It fell to the floor with a clatter. His eyes wide, he murmured,

          "Error: Proximity breach…" The other boys sitting at the table looked up at him, shocked expressions on all of their faces.

          "Uh…did you say somethin', Heero?" Duo asked. The boy in question lowered his eyes to stare down at his plate, seemingly calm once more. After a moment, Quatre broke the silence.

          "Trowa's been gone a long time." he said. Duo nodded, not taking his eyes off of Heero.

          "I'll go check on him." With that he stood and headed out the door. Heero turned slightly as Duo left, somehow sensing where he was headed. '_Don't go out there…' his mind pleaded, but his mouth couldn't find the words._

          Trowa decided to turn the gundam off then back on again, in hopes that the system would have fixed itself. He began to punch in the command but new words appeared on the screen before he had even finished. 'Self destruct sequence initiated' he read. His eyes widened in disbelief. 'Self destruction will commence in 1:00… 0:59… 0:58…' As the computer counted down he brought to his mind the override code Heero had given the rest of the pilots the day of the Incident. Swiftly his fingers moved across the control panel, following the numbers in the exact order. Still the countdown continued. A loud, obnoxious beep filled his ears as he completed the code. 'Code not recognized' appeared just below the timer. 

          "What…?" That was impossible. Heero couldn't have changed the codes after the Incident. Maybe he had given them all a false code. But that didn't make much sense; if any of them had had to stop the gundam from self destructing after retrieving it from OZ they wouldn't have been able to. He started to type in the command to open the cockpit with sweating hands, his last idea. 'Command not recognized' the computer told him. He shook his head. This couldn't be happening. Heero had too many security traps for anyone to have tampered with the gundam. '_Trowa…' Trowa jumped back as his name appeared on the screen. The restraints tightened, squeezing his chest and cutting off his air. '_Do you like to play_?' Lights flashed all around him as the siren grew louder, pounding mercilessly against his eardrums. The timer began to count down faster. 5…This couldn't be happening. It was improbable, impossible, highly unlikely – he _knew_ Heero hadn't changed the codes already! 4… He couldn't breath; the restraints were too tight. His chest jumped violently, trying to draw air into his emptying lungs. Small gasping sounds escaped his throat as he clawed at the restraints, trying to breathe, trying to get free… 3…Why couldn't he get out? Why didn't the gundam respond to the commands? What had happened? __When had it happened?! 2… Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he struggled against the seatbelt that was strangling him. The flashing red lights reflected in his widened eyes. Sirens and alarms consumed all his hearing and echoed in his head, trumpeting his own death to him. 1…This was it; he was going to die. Already he could see the explosion, hear the metal rip apart. He could already feel his body being shredded, pain surging through his entire being. A loud wail filled his ears as the last number changed to zero. His pupils shrank to pinpoints as a bright white light consumed his vision – _

          And he found himself staring up at blue sky. Trembling, he pulled himself from the cockpit and scrambled away from it. His legs could barely support him as he stood and backed away from the torture chamber. Before he knew it he had run out of room; his foot slipped on the edge of the metal and he plummeted to the earth. Though he landed in thick moss he was winded and his body began to go numb. With the last of his strength he rolled over and vomited before passing out.

          Such was how Duo found Trowa when he reached the clearing that the gundam itself had created. Upon spotting the ex-mercenary Duo ran to his side and tried to wake him.

          "Trowa, can you hear me?" he called softly while shaking the boy. Much to his relief, the brilliant green eyes opened and looked into his.

          "Duo…?" The American beamed his famous grin down at Trowa.

          "Of course it's me! You were expecting some one else?" He helped the other boy sit up to articulate his thoughts.

          "What happened to ya, buddy?" Trowa shook his head slightly in partial response.

          "I don't know….the gundam…it went crazy…"

          "What do ya mean it went crazy?"

          "It…it wouldn't respond to commands…" Duo gave Trowa a puzzled look.

          "Maybe you were typing em in wrong. I'll go check it out."

          "NO!" Trowa yelled, grabbing Duo's wrist as he stood. Duo's eyes widened slightly as he raised an eyebrow.

          "…you okay, Trowa?" he asked.

          "Don't go in there."  Duo pushed Trowa's hand away, smiling.

          "Don't worry; I know how to deal with crazy gundams." He moved toward the gundam but was again held back.

          "I mean it, Duo. Don't go in there."

          "Geez, you're really serious about this, aren't you?" Trowa stared at Duo sternly as he held onto his arm. Finally Duo conceded with a sigh.

          "Alright, I won't go in the gundam, okay?" Trowa nodded approval and stood. He made for the safehouse with Duo in tow, already sorting out what he would tell the other pilots.

***

          Much later in the day, the pilots were still trying to figure out what had happened to Trowa. There were great debates and arguments, there were beliefs and disbeliefs and there were agreements and disagreements; there were more of the latter than anything. Tired and frustrated, Quatre excused himself from the current argument and sought refuge in one of the many, spacious bathrooms the mansion had to offer. After closing the door behind himself, he strode to the large sink and turned the water on calmly. His mind was still fixed on what had happened the previous day, the day when he had seen all those ones and zeros all over the walls. That mysterious flash of light, that haunting voice…what had that been? Where had it come from and why had he seen it? All that he could think of was Heero. Hadn't he been walking toward Heero when he saw it? Weren't those eyes Heero's eyes? Those deep blue eyes…well weren't those Heero's eyes he had looked into? Yes, it seemed that those eyes, big and blue and shining with false innocence, that those eyes had been Heero's eyes… Such a strange blue, those eyes were. Such a deep blue they were. Deep, deep like the ocean, like the pits of imagination… Those eyes were so deep you could fall into them if you stared long enough…

          Quatre found himself torn from his thoughts quite suddenly; his stomach had lurched violently. He could feel sickness rising within him quickly and didn't know how to stop the impending explosion. Slowly he tried to pull his hand from his mouth to take some deep breaths. But with a loud, horrid retching sound he doubled over and spilled the contents of his stomach over his hand and into the sink, his eyes squeezing shut as a few small tears welled up in them. After a moment his eyelids parted slightly.

          "What…how did that…where….?" He couldn't find the words to express his confusion and horror. In the sink, where half digested food should have been, were thousands of tiny yellow bodies, wriggling wildly as one under the running water and yet independently, making Quatre even sicker than he had been. A small gurgling sound rose from his throat, bringing more of the tiny squirming insects up with it, the force of his muscles contracting tossing them into the sink with the others. The shocked blonde boy shrank away in disgust, cringing as more maggots slithered up his throat and fell out of his mouth onto the floor. His mind spinning, he backed away from the sink, forgetting that his path was not clear. For a brief moment he could see himself in the mirror above the sink. The image that met his eyes was horrifying. Hundreds of tiny, moving lumps were on his skin where the creatures were trying to get out. He could feel them moving around under his skin, inside of him, crawling over him, making him tremble and shiver. They squeezed in and out of his muscles, making him twitch uncontrollably. They oozed out of his ears, nose, and mouth, stimulating every nerve in his body, it seemed.

          "OH GOD!!" he screamed, as he tripped over a waste bucket and fell to the floor. He writhed and jerked on the tile, his skin tingling with pain as the tiny things gnawed their way out from under it.

          "GET THEM OUT!!" he cried. Frantically he scratched at himself, digging the mini worms out, wincing as they smashed into tiny drops of dirty yellow and red ooze under his fingernails. "GET THEM OUT OF ME!!!!" His panicked screaming led the other pilots, who were nearest, and a few stray servants right to him. When they reached him he was still screaming hysterically, trying to dig the small beings from his body. It was not until Trowa picked him up and shook him that he quieted down.

          "Get them out of me, Trowa…" he pleaded, his voice trembling with anxiety. "Please, they're inside of me, in my body…you have to get them out of me oh God please get them out…get them out…" Trowa caught Quatre's hand as it moved to scratch at his skin.

          "There is nothing inside of you, Quatre." he told him. The blonde boy shook his head and insisted that they were still chewing at him. Trowa looked but try as he might, he couldn't see anything or signs of anything on the shaking boy. The only damage he could detect had clearly been done by Quatre's own fingernails. Wufei and Duo checked the rest of the room. They found nothing, save a bit of regurgitated food in the sink. Quatre absolutely refused to believe that it had been a hallucination; he yelled at them when they told him it wasn't real and continued to dig into his own skin, trying to pull out imaginary worms. When after an hour he still hadn't stopped, it was decided that he needed to be taken to the hospital. Quatre was seated in the back in between Duo and Heero and Wufei sat in the passenger seat dictating directions as Trowa drove.

          "If this keeps up, we'll all be professional hospital hoppers." Duo mumbled on the way.

          "Then let's hope this doesn't keep up." Trowa responded, keeping his eyes on the road.

          "I'll try…" the American boy sighed. "But my hope jar's been runnin' a little low, lately." A slightly deep yet slightly nasal voice spoke, very close to Duo's ear.

          "_You talk too much." it stated flatly. Duo's head jerked up and his eyes instinctively went to Heero. Heero was staring down at his feet intently, that same empty-headed expression on his face. Opening his mouth to ask if Heero had said anything, the braided boy realized that it was a ridiculous question and asked instead,_

          "Wufei, did you say somethin'?"

          "No." was the short reply.

          "_Be quiet, Duo." Again Duo looked to Heero. But the handicapped boy was still sitting in the same position, making no sign that he had spoken or was even capable of speech. With a small scratch of the head and bit of pondering, Duo decided that his mind had been playing tricks on him, shrugged, and stared out the window at blurred lights whizzing by. Next to him, deep, dark blue eyes stared without really seeing anything but seeing everything at the same time. Those profoundly blue eyes, so deep, deep like the pits of imagination…_

*Lots of mind games in this chapter, yes? Yes? Come on now…*


	4. My Eyes

And Imp said "Let there be a fourth chapter!" And it was so. And she saw it was good. ^____^

Absolute Zero

Continued

4. My Eyes

          Shaking…always shaking… He won't stop shaking. The little yellow things shake too, when he shakes. Those little yellow things on his head… He didn't shake before. They keep giving him little white things. He eats them one at a time. What are the little white things? They make the shaking stop.  Then it starts again.

          "Quatre…" one of them says. The boy with one eye covered. "Quatre…" he says. "It wasn't real." It wasn't real, Quatre. It wasn't real, Quatre. Quatre, it wasn't real. What is he talking about? What does he mean? Real, real, real…what is real? What wasn't real? There's the long-haired boy. He talks a lot. His voice is strange. He only wears one color. He's still wearing that same color. One color all the time... He must like that color. His mouth is open now. There are sounds coming from it. Too fast, he's talking too fast. Now he's sad because the words didn't come to me, because I'm not responding. Doesn't he know that he's talking too fast?

          "Real…?" He looks at me. His eyes are a strange color. Sometimes they look blue. They look purple now. He has strange eyes. His eyes are a strange color. His eyes close…open…close…open again. There he goes, talking too fast. He doesn't understand. I don't understand. He's happy when I talk. I know he is. I can feel warmth. It comes from him and I can feel it. Do I like it? Am I supposed to like it? Is it a good thing to be happy? Is it a good thing? The boy says it is a good thing to be happy. He wants to be happy. I try to make him happy when he comes. He wants me to play with him. What do you want, little boy? You want to play now? No little boy, I'm trying to find out what isn't real. No, don't cry. I'll play with you later, little boy. Do you want to play later? Will you play later?

          "Heero…? What are you looking at?" What are you looking at? What are _you looking at? _What_ are you looking at? What _are_ you looking at?_

          "He can't understand you, Duo." Oh, you again? You came back again? You're still here? 

          "Shut up Wufei, what do you know?" The feeling from Long-hair is different now. This isn't warm, it's hot. This is too warm. This doesn't feel good. I don't want to hear them argue again, not again…don't listen. If you put your hands on your ears you don't have to listen. You can't hear it. It will pass and everything will be fine…

          "Heero, don't do that!!" No Long-hair, don't pull my hands away; I don't want to hear you fight. Don't touch me. It doesn't feel good. Don't touch me, I hate it. Get away from me!

          "So that's where you've been getting those bruises…" Long-hair is rubbing his eye. I feel it there, something there…it…hurts…Did I hurt him?

          "He isn't doing it on purpose." The other one looks at me. His eyes are not like the others. His eyes are not blue. His eyes are not green. They look black but I know they're brown. That's why your name is Brown-eyes. Because I know they're brown. I know they are. But you know better, don't you? You know better than to look into our eyes. My eyes… you won't look into my eyes anymore. Stop that little boy, you are not me. They are my eyes. They are not your eyes. They are not our eyes. They are mine, just mine. What are you doing, Brown-eyes? Why are you moving your finger in front of me?  
          "Follow my finger, Heero." I would follow your finger but it isn't going far enough for me to move. "Look, his eyes aren't even focusing on it." Who's eyes are you talking about, Brown-eyes? I like your eyes. They have a hidden color. Look at the light so I can see the brown again. 

          "Brown…" Now he is closing and opening his eyes like Long-hair does sometimes. He doesn't understand. None of them understand. Why can't I make them understand? What do I have to do so they will understand? Little boy, how can I make them understand?

          "_Look into his eyes and I will make him understand for you." No, that's not a good idea. Yellow-hair is still shaking. He won't look in my eyes either.  One-eye-covered won't look at me at all. I don't think it's a good thing to look in their eyes. Long-hair is the only one who wants to look in my eyes but I won't let him. No little boy, that's not a good idea._

          "I think he's talking about your eyes." Yes Long-hair, I am talking about his eyes. You understand. You understand better than the rest of them.

          "My eyes…? What about my eyes?" Tell him Long-hair. I can't tell him so you tell him for me.

          "They…have a hidden color." Yes, that's right. What now, Long-hair? Why are you making that face? Why are you looking around so much? What is it? What now?

          "What's wrong with _you_?"

          "I…I dunno, it was probably my imagination."

          "What did you mean when you said my eyes have a hidden color?"

          "I have no idea…that's not even what I was gonna say." Too many words… I don't understand anymore. Looking down now… green, black, white, yellow, floor… there're lots of colors between here and the floor. The distance is approximately five feet and four inches. What was that? Little boy, are you being bad again? To find the distance between two points, take the square root of the difference of the x coordinates squared plus the difference of the y coordinates squared. Stop it little boy, don't put those things in my mind. To find the midpoint of the line, take the average of the x coordinates and add them to the average – stop it now or I won't play with you anymore! 

          "Stop…"

          "But Heero, we're not doin' anything." Not you, Long-hair. I mean the little boy. He won't go away. Go away, little boy, I'll play with you later.

          "Go away…" It's quiet now…

          "Alright…if you want us to leave, we'll go." No Long-hair, I don't mean you. There's sadness in his eyes now. I wish I could make my eyes do that. I wish my eyes could show what I'm thinking like that.

          "_Your eyes **can do that, Heero." No they can't, not the way I want them too, not like that… My eyes can't do it like his. **_

          "Stay…" Long-hair is smiling now. He must be happy that I said stay. I don't want him to leave me. He's the only one I can trust. The yellow haired one is nice to me. 

          "_He is against us, Heero." Yes, the yellow-haired one is against me. Long-Hair is the only one I can trust. Hmm, Brown-eyes is leaving now – where could he be going? _

          "So Heero, are ya hungry? Do ya feel like eatin' anything?" Now what do I say? They worry when I don't want to eat. They don't understand that I'm not hungry. I don't understand why they want me to eat so much. It isn't a good feeling for me. Why do they want me to put stuff in my mouth and swallow it? Is it supposed to do something? They always say "that was good" when they're done. What is so good about it? What is that word…taste, is that it? What is taste? What _is flavor? When I put it in my mouth nothing happens. I don't get any good feelings from it…_

          "Heero…? Are you hungry?" He looks worried now. I should say something. I have to use my mouth because my eyes won't say it for me.

          "Yes." My voice is so soft. I don't think it's supposed to be that way. I can't remember. I can't remember anything. I don't know who these people are. I don't know where I am. And I don't think I'm supposed to be here. But where am I supposed to be? Where should I go?

          "_Go to Wing, Heero." Be quiet little boy, I'm trying to think. He always does that. Why does he want me to go to Wing? Where is Wing? _What_ is Wing? _

          "Alright, I'll make ya a sandwich." Long-hair might know where Wing is. I'll ask him.

          "Wing…?" He stopped walking…he heard me. 

          "W-what…?" Now his voice is soft. I've never heard his voice sound soft. Did I do something wrong? Looking down again, looking at the floor again…

          "Wait Heero, say that again! Did you say Wing?" No I didn't, it was the little boy, he's bothering me again, he won't leave me alone… I need to cover my ears. If I can't hear him, he can't bother me, if I can't hear him, he can't bother me, if I can't hear him he can't bother me, if I can't hear him, he can't bother me…

          "Calm down, Heero!" He's touching me again, he's pulling my hands away again…I won't push him away this time. I won't push him away if it's hurting him. I won't hurt the only person I can trust. But I hate this feeling so much…

          "Did you say Wing?" He's waiting for me to say something now. I'll move my head up and down. I think that means yes.

          "So you _did say Wing…that means you remember it! Do you wanna go see it?" No, I don't want to see it._

          "_Yes Heero, we **do want to go to Wing." Yes, I want to see it.**_

          "Yes."

          "Alright…" Long-hair is very happy now. "We're gonna go see Wing Zero."

***

          All these plants…there are so many plants everywhere. My feet won't go over them. I hate this. I hate walking out here. I can't do this. I keep falling. And falling makes pain. I hate pain…

          "The clearing is just up here, Heero!" Why do I have to come here? What is so important about Wing? Why does the boy want me to see it so badly? Wait, Long-hair stopped. He's looking up…I'll look up too.

          "…" So this is Wing? It's big…it's very big. If I close my eyes I can almost see…I can almost see…the cockpit? Is it the cockpit?

          "Here it is, buddy! Wing Zero, just the way you left it." Long-hair smiles at me and hits Wing with his hand. The sound…it's painful. My ears can't take this…

          "Hey, what's wrong?? Heero…what happened??" I need to get away from here. This thing…this thing is not what it was. It was something else before…it's something new now. I have to get away from it – or something bad will happen.

          "_Go to the cockpit." No, I'm leaving. I'm getting away from here._

          "Hey, where're you goin? Hey, come back!! HEY!!"

          "_Go to the cockpit **now, Heero." No, I'm not going to the cockpit, little boy. Be quiet now, you're making my head hurt.**_

          "What's wrong, Heero? I thought you wanted to see it." I did want to see it. I don't want to see it anymore.

          "_Go back, Heero. Go back to Wing." No, I can't go back. It's too hot. My body is burning. I can't breathe…my head hurts so much…_

          "Come on Heero, why are ya leavin'?"

          "_Heero, I'll cry if you don't go back." But the electricity…I can feel it running through me. I have to get out. I can't think…the pain…there's so much pain…so much noise…my head…my skull is pounding…_

          "Heero, you have to break free! You have to get the gundam away from the whips!" I can't…I can't move…my body is paralyzed…I can't see! I need air…help me…

          "_Go back to the gundam, Heero!" No, I won't go back! But I'm still there…I never got out! I'm dying! I can smell my skin burning…_

          "Stay with me, Heero. Don't let yourself have another seizure…come on, buddy." Everything is spinning… I can't see…I can't breathe… 

          "_GO BACK TO WING, HEERO!!" I'm falling…_

          "Shit, Heero, don't do this now…not now…I can't get you back in time…" I'm falling into darkness…

          "Trowa, I kinda need some help…Heero and I are out by Wing…I know I know…but Trowa…" God, the pain…my head…my head! Make it stop…

          "_Get up Heero! Get up and go back to Wing!" System downloading… downloading…get out of me…get out of my head…_

          "He's coughing up blood!" What is that? What is that light? That light…it's so…I recognize that light…Some one is coming out of it. Some one is coming to me. Who is it? Who is that person coming out of that light? The light is blocking out everything…I recognize that person…

          "Two…" Darkness covers my eyes.

***

          My eyes are open. I'm alive…I can feel myself breathing. I can hear my heart beating. I'm alive.

          "Hey, are you alright?" Long-hair looks worried.  What happened? Where am I now? I'm not outside anymore…but I'm not in one of those white rooms. I'm not in one of those white beds. I'm not wearing one of those long white shirts. So where am I?

          "…where…?"

          "You're back in the room you share with Duo." Yellow-hair is here. He looks better. He's scratching his arm…why is he doing that?

          "Heero…what are you looking at?" He doesn't know that I'm looking at him? He sees it now. He stopped scratching his arm. But why was he doing that?

          "Geez Heero, you had us worried there! But we should've known you'd be okay." It's good to see Long-hair smile. I don't like to see him sad. And I hate when he's mad because the others are mad too and they fight. I hate to see them fight.

          "I thought you might like to take a bath, Heero. So, Mary volunteered to help you." Now Yellow-hair is smiling. His smile is so nice…I should trust him more.

          "_He is **against** us, Heero." No, Yellow-hair can't be trusted. He's against us, little boy._

          "Hello Heero, I'm Mary." Who is this? A woman…I've seen a few women here. I haven't seen her before. She seems nice. She's coming towards me…

          "Mary's going to help you take a bath, alright Heero?" That doesn't sound bad. Warm water feels good. But I'm not sure if I trust her. She looks nice…

          "_Looks can be deceiving." What does deceiving mean?_

          "Go ahead Heero, it'll be fine!" Alright, if Long-hair says it's alright. I'll go with her. She's holding my hand…I don't like to be touched.

          "Come on Heero, the bathroom is just up these stairs here." She's smiling. I guess I can trust her…

          "Come on, you can do it…" I don't like stairs. They're like the plants outside. My feet won't go over them and I fall. But I'm not falling now… she's helping me.

          "There, you see? That was easy, wasn't it?" She's taking me into the bathroom. She let go of my hand…

          "You stay here, I'll be right back." She's leaving. There's someone else here. He's staring right at me. He's staring right into my eyes. Why isn't he afraid, like the others? His eyes are blue…but this blue is darker than the others. His eyes are almost covered by his dark brown hair. His hair is messy. I can tell he's strong. His muscles aren't very big but when he moves I can see them moving under his skin and I can see that they _are_ strong. He looks strange, with his mouth open like that. He looks lost. Maybe he is lost, like me. Maybe he doesn't know where he is or who he's with either. Mary is back. 

          "That's a mirror, Heero." She's pointing at the other boy. "And that's your reflection." That's my reflection? But that's another person.

          "Reflect…?"

          "Yes, that's your reflection. That's you, that's what other people see when they look at you." That's me…? That's what I look like? That isn't another boy. It's me. I'm that boy. I'm the boy in the mirror. Or is the boy in the mirror me?

          "Alright, let's get those clothes off and you can take your bath." I wish she would stop touching me. I hate it. I hate the way her skin feels. I hate the way all of them feel when they touch me. But what is she doing? She's taking off my colors. There's no green anymore. There's no black. All that's left is the white and yellow on my feet. 

          "Sit down here so I can take your shoes and socks off." She keeps touching me. I think she knows I don't like it. I think she's trying not to touch my skin…

          "There, you're all ready to have your bath!" She's smiling. Her smile is nice. What's she doing? She's turning something…water is falling now. I can feel the heat from here. The other boy's face is being covered with white clouds. How did she make clouds?

          "Go on, step right in. The water's just right." She's smiling again and she's not touching me…I trust her. All I have to do is pull my foot up then put it down again…yes, the water is warm. Now I have to move my other foot… She's laughing.

          "Sit down, silly, you can't take a _bath_ standing up!" She isn't making fun of me. I don't know how I know that…but I know she isn't. I'll sit, like she said. The water feels better when I'm in it more. She's sitting outside the water. 

          "You look like a nice boy, Heero." She seems almost sad now. "Do you ever smile?" Do I ever smile?

          "_No, we never smile. There's no need to smile on the battlefield." She shakes her head when I don't say anything._

          "What am I doing, asking you silly questions like that? I'll just wash you and let you get on your way. I'm sure you don't want to spend all day in here with me." She looks like she's going to put her hand in the water. Why would she do that?

          "EEYAAH!!" What was that?! What was that flash of light?! She's shaking. But this isn't like how Yellow-hair was shaking. She's shaking too fast. I can barely see her face…

          "Mary…" There's light all over the water. The water is getting hot. What are those…they look like snakes. They look like snakes made out of blue light. They're all over her!  
          "Mary…?" She's still shaking. I can smell her skin burning. I know this from somewhere. I have to get away… I'll pull my legs close to my face. If I stay in this corner, maybe it will stop. Maybe I won't get hurt. What about Mary? 

          "Mary…!" My heart is beating too fast. What is that? Why is it doing that?!

          "_You're afraid, Heero. Why are you afraid?" Make her stop shaking, little boy. She's shaking too fast. She can't even scream. Make her stop. Please make her stop._

          "Mary!!" She stopped. She's staring at me now. But she isn't moving. Her eyes are open so much…they look so big.

          "Mary…?" She isn't breathing. I can't hear her heart beating anymore. She's cold…

          "The mouse is _dead, Heero." No, she can't be cold. _

          "Mary…?"

          "It will never move again. It will never run again, it will never eat again, it will never play again…" How can she be dead? How could she die??

          "…Mary…" She's turning white now. All her heat is gone now. 

She's dead.

She's staring at me.

And I can't close my eyes.

*Too much focus on Heero's eyes? I have no idea what you're talking about, Gelfling… ¬.¬ *


	5. Subject

I hope you're all enjoying this…I'm enjoying writing it. Sorry for the slow going. ^____^;;;; 

Absolute Zero

Continued

5. Subject 

          Not one of the pilots could convince Heero to go to sleep after Mary's accident. For a while, he wouldn't even let her be taken from the bathroom. Every time the paramedics would try to approach her body, Heero would scream at them, trying to tell them she wasn't dead but unable to. The end resolution was to have some of the paramedics hold Heero back so Mary's corpse could be taken out. Later on, Heero sought out a small corner and situated himself there, determined not to move or to fall asleep. None of them could figure out what had killed Mary. It was clear that she had been electrocuted. And undeniably, there _were appliances in the bathroom. The only suitable conclusion was that she had touched something electrical with wet hands by accident and the shock had knocked her back, causing her to fall near the tub where they had found her. Heero had still been curled up protectively in the corner of the bath tub, shivering by that time because of the diminishing heat of the water, and staring into Mary's glazed-over eyes._

          Duo had pulled a chair near Heero's corner and sat there trying to get him to go to bed or at least come out. At last he had resigned and contented himself to watching over Heero. But it hadn't been long before sleep had gotten the better of him. He awoke slowly the next morning to see Heero sitting cross-legged in front of him, looking down at a small red rose in his hands. Yawning he sat up and stretched, oblivious to how dim the light in the room was. 

          "Good mornin', Heero!" The Japanese pilot continued to stare at the rose. "What ya got there, buddy?" A chill ran down his spine as cold air blew in through the open window, stirring the gossamer curtains. As he watched, Heero opened his hands and the rose lifted slowly into the air, hovering just inches above his palms.

          "H-how did you…?" Quietly, so quiet that it seemed to be only a figment of the imagination, a small, young voice drifted into Duo's ears, riding on the wind.

          "_Ring…around…the rose – ie……pocket…full…of po-sies……" Heero's head lifted slowly._

          "Wake up."

          Duo woke with a start. '_What was **that**_?' he wondered. Nervously he looked around. Heero was still sitting in his corner, facing the wall.

          "Was it a…dream?" He placed a shaking hand over his chest; his heart was jumping so hard and so fast it hurt. "Oh man, that's got me shaken up pretty bad…" Sitting up in his chair he laughed. "It ain't nothin' a little coffee can't cure." Mechanical beeping sounded softly in the room. He looked up, searching for the source of the noise. It was coming from Heero's laptop computer. At first he thought nothing of it but then he realized –

          "Damn, it's been almost two weeks since Heero would've talked to J!!" Prussian blue eyes followed him as he scrambled over to the computer resting on the table top and took it out of "sleep" mode. A small window was flashing in front of the desktop. "Call waiting" it read. Duo bit his lip as the window flashed and the beeping continued.

          "Great, this is just great…what am I supposed to do?!" He sighed. "I guess I'll just try to stall him." Moving his finger over the mouse pad, he clicked the accept button on the window. Immediately, more windows popped up.

          "Enter password…PASSWORD!?! What password?! Geez Heero, you don't make it easy, do ya?" He turned to look at Heero sitting in the corner but the silent boy was gone. "Huh? Where'd he go?" Concerned, he swiveled the other way, trying to locate Heero, and jumped when he found him to be standing right next to him.

          "You _seriously gotta stop doing that…" Heero lifted his hand slowly, seemingly oblivious to Duo's words. The long-haired American watched with mild interest the other boy's fingers moving slowly across the keyboard. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the computer beeped and all the windows cleared. He was now free to accept the call that was undoubtedly from Dr. J. Unsure of what to say, Duo stared at Heero for a moment then accepted the call. Dr. J's half mechanical face appeared on the screen. He looked surprised._

          "Where is Heero?" he demanded.

          "Uh yeah, I thought you might ask that…he's…around…" Duo eyed the Japanese boy carefully, thankful that he was out of the camera's range.

          "It has been nearly two weeks since he's checked in. I need to speak with him. Put him on."

          "Well he's…kinda…he can't talk to ya right now." Already he was searching his mind for something further to say. He couldn't lie and that hadn't been a lie; Heero really couldn't talk to anyone at the moment. But Dr. J would ask why Heero couldn't talk to him and then what would he say? A possible answer presented itself as Quatre walked into the room, rubbing a faint scar on his cheek absently. In his other hand he carried a cup of coffee.

          "I thought I'd come and check on you and Heero…" he began. Upon seeing who Duo was talking to, he virtually froze. Duo pushed the laptop's screen down slightly and hopped up from the chair.

          "Quatre, you gotta help me out here! Dr. J wants to talk to Heero but… well you know the problem with that…" He shook his head. "Should we hide this from him or what? I mean, he might be able to reverse it…"

          "That's a good question. I hadn't thought about this happening…" He paused briefly. "Maybe…maybe we _should_ let Dr. J know about it. I mean, something like this is too hard to hide forever. I think it's better to just let him know sooner." Duo nodded in agreement.

          "Sounds like a plan!" Grinning, he pushed Quatre into the chair. "You do it."

          "Me…what, wait a minute, you were talking to him!" Before he could protest any more, Duo had pulled the laptop's screen back up and he was staring into Dr. J's cybernetic eyes.

          "Number four, where is Heero and why can't I speak with him?" Quatre faltered for a moment.

          "You see…Dr. J…" He stopped to clear his throat. "On our last mission together, Heero was involved in…an accident." Now it was Dr. J's turn to pause.

          "Quatre, are you trying to tell me my pilot is dead?" His tone said all too clearly that he would do more than just disbelieve Quatre if those words left his mouth. The young blonde shook his head vigorously, tossing his golden locks to and fro.

          "No, no, it wasn't that bad. He's still alive…but he's been rendered unable to pilot the gundam." He gave Dr. J a moment to absorb this before continuing. "He can barely talk or walk. He can't write or type because the words are too hard for his mind to process. We suspect that he's lost most if not all of his memories."

          "Let me speak with him."

          "But –."

          "Let me speak with him, please." After a moment's hesitation, Quatre nodded then moved from the chair. He and Duo sat Heero down in front of the computer screen. The old scientist was visibly shocked at the vacant expression on Heero's face but for only a split second.

          "Heero, can you understand me?" Heero stared at Dr. J's image on the screen. He couldn't understand why the person he was looking at was flat. Slowly he reached out and touched the screen. It was as if he was looking at a picture…but the picture moved and made sounds. He couldn't understand.

          "Why haven't you sent a report from your last mission?"

          "_That man stole our childhood, Heero." Heero stared at Dr. J in confusion. "_We **hate that man**_." Duo and Quatre tensed as Heero's mouth opened._

          "I…" They watched as the former pilot's eyes narrowed. "…I…_hate you."_

          "In your face Wufei, that's a whole sentence!" Duo grinned proudly as Quatre sighed. Dr. J was silent for a moment before speaking.

          "Bring him to my lab immediately." Without giving any of them time to respond, he ended the call.

          "Uh…I don't think that's a good thing…"

          "No…" Quatre sighed again. "It _isn't_ a good thing."

***

          Getting to the colony that Dr. J's lab was stationed on proved to be less difficult than the pilots had believed it would be. At first, not all of them were going to go. Duo and Quatre were to go with Heero to the laboratory but Trowa was concerned with Quatre's ceaseless scratching of his arms and face and had even seen him open some of the old wounds. He committed himself to the trip when Duo mixed up the medications Quatre was supposed to be taking. Wufei showed considerable yet false disinterest in what Dr. J might find about Heero's condition. Allured by the possible results of a few tests, he decided to go along with them under the pretense that he had nothing better to do and didn't want to be left alone with all the "annoying hand-maids". 

          With Quatre's connections, it was relatively simple to get a semi-private shuttle out to the colony. Keeping a low profile, they snuck into the lab and started down the long corridors to the heart of the place where they would find the doctor waiting. Silently, Heero observed their path. It seemed familiar to him. '_I know this place…I shouldn't be here.' The other pilots kept going as he stopped suddenly. Wufei, lost in thought, didn't seem to realize the body in front of him had ceased its forward motion and bumped into it, receiving a small shock that was just enough to bring him back to his senses. He mumbled to himself, somewhat annoyed. It wasn't long before the others noticed and stopped as well._

          "Why'd ya stop, Heero?" Duo asked, confused. He watched Heero retreat a step. With a reassuring smile, Quatre said,

          "Come on Heero, we're going to take you to see Dr. J. You'll be fine, I promise." His smile faded as Heero shook his head slowly.

          "No." He said. There was no emotion behind the word. It was simple and flat – which made it all the more chilling.

          "But he might be able to help ya, Heero!" Again the handicapped boy shook his head.

          "No." Quatre opened his mouth to make another appeal but someone else's voice cut him off.

          "Don't bother pleading with him." A time-crippled, half-mechanical man emerged from the shadows. "I'll handle it from here." Heero began to take another step back but was quickly caught by two rather large men. They exchanged glances when both of them received small static shocks. Dr. J stepped forward and stared at his young trainee.

          "You're just going to let them grab you, Heero? You're just going to let them take you? Is that what I taught you, Heero?" The boy's slightly widened blue eyes drifted off to the side. No sound came from his partially opened mouth. The old scientist moved directly in front of Heero and raised his hand as if he meant to strike the boy. Still he received no response. Frowning, he lowered his hand.

          "What did you let them _do_ to you, Heero?" After another moment of silence, he motioned for the men to take Heero away.

          "Hey, where're you taking Heero?!" Duo demanded.

          "I need to find out for myself what happened. You all are welcome to come along and I ask that you do. I would like to ask you all some questions."

          "Well I'm comin' with ya, whether you like it or not!" Dr. J nodded once and continued on into the shadowed recesses of his laboratory.

***

          Dr. J and his assistants ran multiple tests on Heero. But every question they answered only led to more unanswered ones. Somewhat impatiently, the aged man tried presenting these new questions to the other boys but to no avail; they could not answer many of the questions either. Duo voiced once again a question he had been asking for the past hour.

          "Where's Heero?" At that moment, one of Dr. J's assistants walked in.

          "The final test has been set up, Dr. J." she informed him quietly. 

          "Good, thank you." The young woman left as Dr. J stood, supporting some of his weight on a small cane. "Come with me and I'll _show_ you where Heero is." He turned abruptly and walked away. The four unsuspecting and bewildered boys followed after briefly exchanging silent yet meaningful glances.

          They arrived shortly in a fair-sized observation room. Computers ran the length of almost every wall. Their small blinking lights were the only lights in the room, aside from the steady glow of the monitors. One of the walls had a large window in it reaching just short of a few inches from either of the side walls. They could see nothing through it, however, for there was an equally large slab of metal covering it.

          "Heero has been being tested this entire time." Dr. J began. "He will have to be retrained. This final test will tell me what to focus on the most." He nodded to another assistant sitting at a computer. A button was pushed and the sheet of metal lifted slowly and noiselessly. On the other side was a well lit room containing only a young boy wearing a loose green tanktop and black, spandex shorts. He looked around briefly before going back to staring straight ahead absently.

          "Why do you have Heero in there?" Duo demanded, making his way to the window. "Just what kinda test is this??"

          "Be patient, Duo. You will see." He turned to the same assistant. "Begin the test." he ordered. Another button was pushed. Even more silent than the metal sheet that had covered the window, a panel in the far wall of the room Heero was in slid open. They watched closely as a man stepped out quietly. He held a menacing knife in his hand.

          "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Duo cried. "YOU'RE GONNA HAVE HIM ATTACK HEERO!?! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!" He pounded on the window, trying to get Heero's attention.

          "Don't waste your strength. He can't hear you, that room is sound proof. He can't see you either; the other side of that window is a mirror. And Heero can defend himself just fine." Quatre stepped towards Dr. J.

          "Dr. J, I don't think you realize just how serious Heero's condition is! He can barely move!" The old doctor ignored Quatre's pleas and watched the events through the window. The knife carrying man charged at Heero without a sound.

          "Forget this, I'm bringin' this test to an end!!" Duo murmured. He looked around for a button to push or a microphone with which to tell the man to stop, shoving assistants out of his way left and right. 

          "Stop that! Don't touch that!! You'll ruin everything!!"

          "In case you didn't notice, that's what I'm _tryin'_ to do!"

          "Duo, be careful! That's my arm!!" Trowa joined the small scuffle to help Quatre get free while Wufei watched from his perch atop one of the computers. Wufei's dark brown eyes took in the man's movements as he approached Heero. Finally the mentally handicapped boy seemed to notice another person's presence. He turned slowly to face the body flying towards him.

          "YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOUR OWN PILOT!!"

          "Heero will not be killed, I assure you! Then it all would have been a waste of my _own time!!"_

          "Dr. J, just stop the test, please!!"

          "While you're fighting, the test is still running." Trowa pointed out.

          "Damn it, stop the test, old man!!" Duo reached for a button, causing everyone to be turned towards the window. They looked up in just enough time to see it happen. The man leaped at Heero, knife held high, and gave a small yell. Those two, impurely innocent, deep, dark blue eyes locked on the man.

          "Back…" Heero's voice was quiet but they all heard it because all activity in the observation room had ceased. And everyone saw the man rocket backwards and slam into the wall. And everyone heard the loud snap. And everyone saw him fall to the floor. And everyone knew he was dead. No one could say anything. Heero stared at the dead body on the floor for a moment then reached up and scratched his head.

          "Cold now…?" They watched him turn toward them, looking into each of their eyes. 

          "I thought you said he couldn't see us." Wufei half whispered.

          "He…he _can't see us." Dr. J sputtered. "It isn't possible. It _physically_ isn't possible!" A small jolt of surprise passed through all of them as another panel opened and at least six armed men charged at Heero._

          "The test is still going!" Dr. J growled, trying to get onto his feet correctly. Wufei hopped down, landing next to one of the assistants.

          "Stop the test." he instructed him.

          "I'm sorry, I can't do that." Wufei glared at the man.

          "Are you _brain dead? He'll kill all those men! __Stop the __test."_

          "I only take orders from Dr. J."

          "Stop the test, you fool!! Haven't you been watching?" Dr. J snarled as he righted himself.

          "Yes, sir, right away!" The assistant typed in a  code then pressed an intercom switch.

          "Abort the test immediately!" he cried. But he was too late. Though they could not see it, a massive wave of energy exploded from the infantile teen, sending men flying in all directions. The window rattled fiercely from the pressure being exerted on it. It began to look like a bubble someone was trying to blow out the frame.

          "GET UNDER COVER!" someone screamed. All the assistants and pilots dove to the floor while Dr. J situated himself behind a sturdy computer, all of them trying to protect themselves from flying glass. Just as it seemed the glass could stretch no further and would shatter, it sucked back into place with the sound of wind being drawn into a vacuum. All sound disappeared. Then all at once it came back as the entire slab of glass burst into an innumerable amount of sparkling shards, raining down among the cowering people in the room. Only seconds after, it wasn't just glass that was falling around them. Duo squeaked.

          "Somethin' just landed on my back…" he whimpered quietly. Trowa, who was nearest to him, looked up slightly to see what it was. He grimaced but just a little.

          "It's an arm." he informed the trembling Deathscythe pilot.

          "AAA, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!!" Duo jumped up in a panicked frenzy, throwing the arm to the floor. He froze when he caught sight of the other room. The walls were stained with fresh blood and body parts. Flesh dripped from the ceiling, resembling crimson snow. Every now and then there came a sickening splat sound as part of a leg or arm or other appendage plopped down onto the floor. And in the midst of it all stood Heero, his hair waving in a wind that was not there, framing his head and face like a small brown halo. He surveyed the damage he had caused, his head partially turned away from Duo. The braided boy felt a surge of nervousness as the steely eyes turned on him without warning. For that moment, the first pilot looked to Duo as he had before. His facial expression, though not easily identified, was the one he was so accustomed to seeing. There was no blank look in his eyes, his mouth was not hanging open. There was no childish fear there. There was only confidence. There was only superiority. There was Heero Yuy, the pilot of the gundam Wing Zero, the perfect soldier. He could almost hear Heero asking him what he was staring at. The connection was severed suddenly, almost painfully, when Heero blinked. His hair dropped back into place. He became an empty shell once more.

          "You're not Heero." Duo mumbled accusingly. "Who are you? Do you know what you've done?" He winced then continued in a whisper. "Do you even _care?" He himself blinked and brought himself back to reality. Looking around he wondered, '_what was I doin'? I can't remember_…' Glass and bones crunched around him as the others stood. He felt Quatre's hand on his shoulder._

          "I think he_ does care, Duo." he said with a small smile. Duo raised an eyebrow._

          "What?" he asked.

          "From the floor it sounded like you asked Heero if he cared what he did…and I think he does care." Duo smiled at the young blonde.

          "You must've gotten some glass in your ear, Q-man. I never asked Heero that." Quatre frowned slightly.

          "But you did…I heard you." Duo shook his head, still smiling.

          "Nope, it wasn't me. I think I'd remember sayin' it." Wufei folded his arms after brushing himself off.

          "I heard you say it too. I think it was one of the only times I've ever heard you use proper grammar.

          "Well then, that _really_ proves I didn't say it." Duo joked.

          "Never mind that…" Dr. J said, coming out of his makeshift shelter. "What's most important now is Heero. I have to find out what that was and how he can do that…"

          "Oh no you don't, I think you've done enough tests on Heero!"

          "There is no question in the matter. You may _observe_ the tests but you will not stop them nor will you interfere." Without another word he began to walk away.

          "You can't just treat him like he's your own personal guinea pig! He's a human being!!" Duo yelled at Dr. J's retreating back.. The scientist made no effort to respond. With a quiet growl Duo whipped around to yell into the other room.  
          "Run away, Heero! Get out of here!!" His eyes widened when they failed to perceive Heero. "Where'd he go??" he wondered aloud, vague panic making his voice quiver. He barely heard Dr. J's voice as he continued down the hall.

          "You may_ not interfere."_

***

          While Heero was being prepared for the next test, the other pilots were completely free to leave. They did not however; none of them, especially not Duo, particularly trusted that Heero would be alright should they leave him to the care of the mad scientist. When everything was set up, they were permitted to watch through a separate window. They could not enter the control room, as per Dr. J's request.

          Heero was seated at one end of the room. The chair was raised slightly and looked unlike any chair the boys had ever seen. Metal cuffs with wires running along their surfaces held Heero's arms and feet. Even more wires were attached to his head with colored suction pads. At the other end of the room, a neat and orderly line of simple, wooden building blocks rested on a small platform. A poster with a diagram of a castle made from the blocks hung on the wall behind that.

          "He just won't rest until Heero's _dead_, will he?!" Duo punched the wall below the window, a little harder than he had intended to.

          "Don't worry Duo." Quatre said reassuringly. "We won't let that happen." Their attention focused on the room as Dr. J's voice echoed through it and the hall they were standing in.

          "Look closely at the diagram on the wall, Heero." Dr. J instructed. "I want you to arrange the blocks in just that way, using the abilities you showed earlier." Silence ensued.

          "Do you understand me, Heero?"

          "Yes."

          "Go on then. Do as you were instructed." Silence settled over them again. Then finally, a short yet profound noise broke it.

          "No." Above all others, Dr. J seemed to be the most shocked.

          "I will not tolerate this insolence, Heero. Do as you were told."

          "No."

          "If you don't follow instructions, Heero…" The old man hesitated. "I will be forced to discipline you."

          "No." Frowning, Dr. J looked down at a computer panel.

          "You've left me no choice, Heero." He flipped a switch. The ex-mercenary's body tensed. His eyes widened.

          "What's he _doing to him?" Duo asked in confusion. Trowa observed carefully the way Heero's mouth opened more and more, a scream of pain caught in his throat. It dawned on him as foam began to ooze out and slide down the boy's cheek._

          "He's…electrocuting him." Duo could hardly contain his rage.

          "He's doing WHAT!?" He pounded furiously on the door to the control room. "Hey stupid, don't you think he's been electrocuted enough _already?!" Heero slumped in the chair slightly after the electricity was cut off._

          "Will you follow orders now, Heero?" Heero lifted his head.

          "Yes."

          "Good. Now, arrange the blocks as you see them on the picture." Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei watched quietly and Duo banged on the door a bit longer. Finally he realized that the test had started and he pressed himself up against the glass for a better look. Heero's blank eyes moved slowly over the picture then examined the blocks set out in front of him. He could see that the bottom was a long, red, rectangular block. On top of that was something that looked like a rectangle with half a circle missing from it, as if it were half of a square with a hole in it. The side with the half circular hole was pointing downward. He could see the block that matched this one. He could understand that this block was supposed to go on top of the red block. He could not, however, understand how he was to get it there.

          "Show us the powers you used before, Heero." Everyone stared on as Heero's head and eyes drifted to the side. His eyelids dropped. They waited a few moments. Then just as Dr. J was about to say something, the seemingly sleeping boy's head swiveled to face forward, his eyes open yet narrowed. His hair wavered, a small, almost undetectable motion. Very slowly the yellow block began to lift into the air. As his eyes moved, so the block moved and soon it was sitting atop the red, rectangular base of the structure. In complete awe, everyone else looked on as more and more blocks were added to the pile. So caught up were they in the fact that the impossible was being proven possible right in front of their eyes that they forgot to look at the person proving it. Sweat dropped from the Wing Pilot's skin like rain. His pounding heart served as the rolling thunder and his increased breath was as the hurricane, completing the storm of exertion in his body. The observers noticed only when the last block lost altitude quite suddenly, though remaining in the air.

          "Come on Heero, you can do it." Dr. J urged. Heero's eyelids flickered as sticky liquid flowed over them. Duo felt worry and anger rise within him as he took in what was happening to Heero.

          "Heero doesn't look too good…" he murmured.

          "Yeah…maybe they should stop." Quatre agreed.

          "They'll have to stop soon; his nose is bleeding." At Wufei's words, Duo's violet orbs went directly to Heero's nose. Sure enough, the thick, scarlet substance was running down his nostrils and dripping from his lip. He coughed and spluttered silently to them, as they could hear him only when Dr. J pushed the intercom button; he was choking on his own sweat and blood.

          "Don't you give up, Heero! I didn't teach you to be a quitter!" When Heero's eyes began to roll back into his skull, Duo decided that he could take it no longer. Ferociously he attacked the door between himself and the control room.

          "Stop it!!" he screamed. "Can't you see you're hurtin' him!?!" He turned back for one last glance at the straining boy behind the window. At last Heero gave in to the stress. His body slumped forward and his head rolled to the side. The waves of energy he had been forcing out followed the motion of his head. The four pilots jumped back instinctively; so powerful were the waves headed in their direction that they could actually _hear_ them moving. So many fine cracks appeared in the window they had been watching through that it became as white as the plastered wall it was set in. Fearlessly, Trowa touched the glass. A small hole just the size of his finger appeared in it and on his skin was left what appeared to be slightly lumpy powder. The waves had been so strong and so fast they had crunched the window into dust without moving it an inch. Words were not needed. Everyone could see quite clearly for themselves just how powerful Heero had become. And they all knew that when he awoke, he was _not_ going to be happy.

*I dun care if the glass thing is possible or not, I think it's cool.*


	6. Waking Hour

Sorry this took so long, schoolwork needed to be done…  
Absolute Zero

Continued

6. Waking Hour

          Consciousness…fast, sudden, harsh; he's awake now. He can think now. '_I'm lying on my back. This isn't hard, it's soft. This isn't where I was before.' Memory…just as fast, worse than waking, worse than the feeling of being yanked back to life; he remembers what was done to him. He remembers the pain. He doesn't like pain. He _hates_ pain. The old man causes pain. '_I can make him feel pain_…' he realizes. '_I **will make him feel pain**_.'_

          "_Yes Heero, let's go kill the old man." Heero's voice reverberated wearily off the walls, a tired, patient sigh._

          "Shut up, little boy. Just shut up. I'm not going to play with you now so just shut up." He rolled over and curled up slightly. The rubber soles of his shoes offered no resistance to the movement of his feet; they had been removed. Finally he had silence. Finally he could just rest.

          "Hey, you're awake!" Unsure of what he felt at the sound of Duo's voice – annoyance, relief – he stared blankly at the wall, either not realizing or not acknowledging that he wouldn't be getting any rest after all. Duo smiled encouragingly into his face. He averted his eyes; he didn't know what was happening but he knew that _something was happening when he looked into the eyes of others. As always, Duo tried to position his head so he was looking right into the other boy's eyes. Of course, Heero looked away again so he moved again. This continued until it reached its usual conclusion; Heero closed his eyes._

          "Call me crazy but I think I'm startin' to get a kick outta that." Heero's brows furrowed.

          "Why won't you leave me alone?!" His eyes snapped open just in time to see Duo's head explode.

          His eyes snapped open. Duo was still sitting there.

          "So, are ya hungry or somethin? Trowa went and got some pizza…" Though nothing showed on his face, Heero was thoroughly shocked. He could have sworn on his life that Duo had just died. He could have _sworn_… that he had just killed Duo. He was glad that he hadn't. '_Long-hair is my friend. The boy says I can't trust anyone. I trust him. I trust him.'_

          "Don't you _ever smile?" A pang of guilt stung his chest. He had thought of smiling now, as Duo – __Long-hair – often did. And he had made himself remember. Mary hadn't deserved to die. Why did he feel guilty? He didn't even know if he had done it._

          "Oh, you don't need to doubt yourself!" Duo said reassuringly. "Of _course you killed her! You did a nice job of it too." Heero blinked, confused. '_Why did he say that_?' he wondered. '_Why did he say that to me_?' Duo's gaze was inquisitive. _

          "What could he _possibly_ be thinkin' about…?" The words bumped into the young teen's skull dully. It seemed as though everything was trapped in slow motion. '_Did I hear his thoughts_?' his own thoughts swirled drowsily in his mind, leaving trails of unfinished feelings and musings around his head. '_No,' he told himself. '__Long-hair didn't say that to me. I didn't kill him. And he didn't say that. Why am I seeing things that aren't happening? Why am I hearing things that aren't real?'_

          "Uh…we had to bring ya home…" Duo murmured. He knew it was pointless to try to talk to Heero. Heero hadn't been much of a conversationalist before and now that he couldn't even speak…it was a complete waste of time. Still, he opened his mouth to try again. Not one word had passed his lips before Heero gasped suddenly, his breath caught in his throat.  Immediately he stood and started towards the bed Heero was lying on. He reached out and as his hand neared the messy-headed boy, the short, fine hairs on his arm began to rise as though a magnet was hanging over them. Before he could further question the cause of that, something new caught his attention. Heero's mocha-colored hair was fluttering furiously in a wind that existed only around him. His clothes, too, flapped upward wildly, being blown by a force whose presence was known only _because_ of this. Even as Duo backed away he struggled to pull something, anything, any words at all to his mouth. He watched as the two Prussian blue orbs he had tried earlier to look into widened, saltless tears forming at their corners. Heero found himself panting heavily. The power surging through his body was too great. He couldn't contain it. He couldn't control it. Helplessly he clutched the blankets under him as his body rose into the air. Light circled him, enveloping his body. The air came to life, crackling with electricity and power, the hum of raw energy heavy on his ears. He took no notice as Duo sputtered out his name. His head was numb with pain but as he rose higher, it faded and disappeared, as though a great pressure was being relieved through an outlet. Warmth spread through his entire being, countering the icy wind whipping over him. He allowed himself to uncurl from his protective ball, encouraging the heat to rush through him faster. It pounded through his veins, pushed forward by his ever-faster beating heart. Hanging there above the bed, his arms and legs extended to their fullest, his own power pulsating about him, a sensation that felt new but was one he had experienced before came over him. Duo was insignificant as he tripped over himself and fell into a corner. The worry he could sense from him meant nothing as the infant smile grew on his lips. But the fear, the fear that he felt from Duo when his mouth opened, when he began to laugh out loud, just for the sheer pleasure of it – Duo's fear meant something to him. His eyes opened. Through the snake-like strings of electricity and the clusters of light he could see the small American stuffed into a corner, staring at him, horror unobstructed, clear in his eyes. His smile faded. The braided boy twitched as though to run as a hand stretched toward him. A voice dripping with remorse whispered into his ear.

          "_Duo…" He jumped as a violent tremor shook its way down his spine. Heero's eyes closed. His aura of power disappeared. Silently, he fell onto the thick, down blankets. Bone-breaking quiet filled the room. Shaking, Duo waited. He waited. He held his breath. Finally, slow, steady breathing reached his ears. Heero was alive and so was he. His blue eyes stared wildly at the motionless figure on the bed. A muffled yelp escaped his mouth as he lunged for a nearby lamp, the sound of the door opening playing on all his nerves. He sighed at the blonde's raised eyebrow._

          "Is Heero awake yet?" Quatre asked. Duo said nothing. He merely let his head fall into his hands, quiet, relieved laughter shaking his torso. Quatre looked from Duo to the bed then back to Duo.

          "Did I miss something?"

***

          Every time Duo tried to explain to the others what he had seen, his jaw locked and his brain froze. The whole experience was so overwhelming to him (who, after all, had ever seen anything like that?) that he could find no words to adequately describe it. All he could get out were the words "light" and "electricity" with "the floating" added occasionally.

          "Let's have him explain that _and_ what happened at J's lab." Wufei suggested. "Maybe he'll never speak again."

          "I can't…you just…it was…you…you just had to be there! You just had to see it with your _own eyes. I can't describe it…" He shook his head, defeated._

          "Check…" Trowa's calm voice announced.

          "What are you doing?" Wufei raised an eyebrow and stared at Trowa. "Why are you playing with…_him?" Trowa made no effort to respond. Quatre looked over at the chess board on the coffee table then the two players. One moved its castle._

          "Check…mate…" Trowa's eyes widened. He searched the board. Not only was his king trapped, there was not one other piece he could move. He had lost. His opponent looked off to the side. He scratched his arm.

          "Wow, he really beat ya, didn't he?" Duo leaned over the board, examining it thoroughly.

          "If you lost to him, that doesn't say much for your chess skills."

          "No," Trowa agreed. "It doesn't say much for _my_ skills…" Perplexed, he stared at Heero. When he'd set up a game and out of curiosity, had sat Heero down in the chair to play, he hadn't expected to lose. He hadn't even held back. He had thought he was winning. But he had lost. There was something very suspicious about it, however. Through the game, it had seemed Heero was always two steps ahead of him. He was sure it was only his imagination but as it turned out, it had been very real.

          "That's amazing!" As usual, Quatre had an optimistic view about the whole thing. "Why don't you try again, Trowa?"

          "I think I will…" The green-eyed boy moved the pieces back to their respective starting positions. His was the first move. His hand hovered over his pawn. Heero was staring at him. It felt as though a weight was sitting on his head. He looked completely focused. He looked calm. He looked like he knew what Trowa was doing. What he was thinking… Was that it? Was that what was bothering him? Was Heero…reading his mind? His fingers began to close on the pawn's head.

          "Are you sure you want to move that piece, Trowa?"

          "No, I'm not sure. What will you do if I move it?" Trowa questioned himself in his own mental conversation. 

          "Move it and see."

          "You'll move those pawns there…then move your rook." He outlined other possible strategies then settled on moving a different pawn. Heero moved a seemingly random pawn. Trowa's projection of Heero moved it with meaning and purpose.

          "It's your move." the image informed him. Trowa nodded then pushed another piece forward. Heero moved a bishop. The mercenary didn't understand. He couldn't see what the plan was. Another turn passed. It cycled back to him. Hesitantly, he moved. Heero's bishop took a pawn.

          "Checkmate." The near-autistic boy had won a second time and this time, in only four moves. Duo let out a long, low whistle.

          "He killed ya, man! You didn't even get a _chance_." The plan was perfect; there was no warning because before the checkmate, his king was not in danger. And after the checkmate, there was nothing he could do to save his king. When he looked up, Heero was still staring at him.

          "Are you reading my thoughts, Heero?"

          "Do you think I am, Trowa?"

          "You are. You have to be."

          "Are you giving me too much credit?"

          "You have telekinesis; I wouldn't be surprised if you had telepathy."

          "Do I really have telekinesis?" The chess pieces began to slide over the glossy board. Trowa watched.

          "Did I really win?" Trowa's emerald eyes blinked. The pieces whirled insanely, forming a small cyclone.

          "Are you really sitting there, Trowa?" 

          "What?" Nervousness rose in the third pilot's chest as the playing board lifted into the air. Wind whipped around him, exposing the eye that had previously been covered. His heart beginning to speed up, he searched for the other three pilots as he felt himself begin to rise; they were not there. The chair came with him but drifted off into another direction, leaving him stranded above the floor. Heero's eyes narrowed. His voice echoed darkly in Trowa's head.

          "Are you really there, Trowa?" Trowa swerved to avoid objects circling around the room. Why did he remain where he was while everything else spun around the room?

          "Why are you dodging things, Trowa?"

          "I don't want them to hit me." Heero smiled. Somehow, it seemed friendly, like one of Quatre's smiles. In a somewhat patronizing tone he spoke.

          "They won't hit you, Trowa!" he said. "They'll pass through you. You're not real!" Stunned, the Heavyarms pilot let himself drift. He failed to perceive the chair headed in his direction. Only enough time was free for him to gasp and make a feeble attempt at moving, an attempt which resulted in no fruit for all its labor. An incredibly strong gust of wind passed over him as he lifted his arms, bracing for impact. When he looked around, he could see that the chair has passed by him and was continuing its cycle around the huge room. No, the chair had passed_ through him._

          "Are you real, Trowa?" The lights sparked and went out. Now illuminated only by the moon outside, the room became a much more dangerous place; he could no longer see anything that might be flying at him. He _could_ see, however, the steady, dark blue eyes reflecting what tiny amount of light there was.

          "Yes." The answer was more of an act of defiance than a response.

          "You have no memory of your past."

          "It was an accident."

          "Are you real? Were you ever born?"

          "Yes -."

          "Are you _sure you're real?" All other sound was drowned out as more and more things passed him. More and more things passed __through him._

          "You have no name."

          "Stop it…" His arms flailed of their own accord, trying to stop things from sliding in and out of his body, trying to make himself solid again.

          "You have no past."

          "Shut up!" He kicked out at a picture, a lamp, a table – he kicked at them and tried to wave them away. His arms and legs connected with nothing. His internal organs groaned as the objects invaded them, sped right through them as though they weren't there. But he continued to fight; he would not have his identity taken from him.

          "You have no future." He cried out as his heart caught on a book cover and was yanked from his chest cavity. 

          "You…" Another organ joined the myriad of spinning articles, having been ripped from inside him by the leg of a table.

          "Are…" His eyes watered as the wind dried them out. He couldn't see. He was blind. There! There's something there! Move out of the way, push it away, get out of the way _now; don't let it hit you!!! Panic filled him when he sensed an object coming toward him and nausea washed over him when it passed through him._

          "Not…" His brain couldn't handle the stress; it knew that there should be contact. It was used to the idea of being hit. It _demanded_, if something unavoidable was moving at the body, that contact be made. And when there was no contact, it became confused. Trowa was disoriented.

          "…Real." He clawed furiously at the air. He was drowning, drowning in a storm of wind and nausea. Passing objects ripping him to shreds, he howled, he gave a cry of pain and over-stimulation. Water forced his eyes closed. His missing heart still pounded like mad against his shattering rib cage. No air, there was no air, he couldn't breath, he was drowning, he was dying, he was disappearing bit by excruciating bit and his throat swelled from over use as he called out for someone, anyone, all his knowledge and training, his mind, his _life torn from him by the pencils and cups and even chairs shooting right through his head until –_

          "Hey Trowa, if you're not gonna eat this then _I_ am." Trowa blinked a few times. Duo was standing over him, staring at him a bit impatiently. In his hand he held a slice of steaming pizza. But more importantly, Duo was standing in _front_ of him, in front of Heero. '_I see_…' the young soldier thought calmly. '_I must have looked into Heero's eyes and when Duo stepped in front of me, it severed whatever connection there was. If he hadn't, I could have died of mental stress…_' He was tempted to smile. '_Duo just saved my life and doesn't even know it_.'

          "Thanks, I'm not hungry." Saying nothing further, he stood – but there was no floor under him. His voice did nothing for him as he plummeted into everlasting darkness, lost for all eternity, gone forever, trapped, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to see, unable to exist, into the darkness where no one he had come to know was real, where he had no past, where he truly had no future, where he had no hope, where he had nothing, where there was nothing, the darkness in which he was nothing, in which nothing could survive, and in which he would surely die, lonely, forgotten, faceless, nameless, the darkness that would consume him, that would envelope him, that would kill him quietly, painlessly, and erase him from the minds of all the world.

          "Hey Trowa, if you're not gonna eat this then _I_ am." His body shook violently at the sound of Duo's voice. Just as before, the loud-mouthed boy was standing between the two of them, between Trowa and Heero, holding that same slice of pizza. He couldn't believe it. That feeling of death had been so real. He had been sure that everything had ended, that he had died. Hesitantly he pushed against the floor with his foot. The floor was solid. A glance around Duo at Heero confirmed that Heero had not been talking to him nor was he looking at him. His knees weak, he stood; for all the torture his mind had been trained to take, his body still could not handle shutting down then coming back so quickly. Without a word he walked away. He alone knew that he had been wrong. Before, he believed that sensation of nothingness had been only an illusion. But he corrected himself now. He knew that for a moment, though only an instant, shorter than the time it would have taken him to draw breath – for _that_ moment, he had really been dead.

***

          Later, after Trowa had gone to bed, Wufei had left on some personal business, and Duo had decided to make a few reparations to his gundam, Heero was left alone once again. Quatre was keeping mild watch over him but to the semi-autistic boy, he was by himself, stranded, isolated – alone. He sat on the floor, examining the chess board. Only moments ago he had understood it all. He had known that it was a game of strategy. Everything had been so clear. Every movement had meaning, every piece was a possible future in itself. But now that there was no opponent, now that there was no one whose thoughts and actions needed to be deciphered and sorted, all his understanding of what the game was had faded. It was merely little clear pieces sitting on a clear board; the pieces weren't even made of crystal anymore. He didn't bother to look up as Quatre approached him; the other boy walking toward him was unimportant. What was important however was the fact that the young blonde sat across from him and looked directly where his eyes would be if his head were not down. The graceful, well learned blonde Arab, known to many as Master Quatre, sat there with silent aggressiveness, challenging Heero not to a game of chess but to a game of the mind. It was dangerous, he knew, to dare Heero to look him in the eye, to be so audacious as to delve deep into the hole of Heero's imagination where he would undoubtedly end up. As well as he knew that, he knew it was something he had to do. He had to know exactly and for himself what it was about Heero he had come to fear so. Slowly the Prussian blue eyes rose to meet his. Quatre's body jumped slightly but he refused to retreat; there was no backing out now. Heero looked to him as he would have at any other time before the Incident. He seemed to be waiting for Quatre to speak. Timidly he opened his mouth.

          "I already know why you're here." Heero's words sent another shiver down Quatre's back.. He spoke.

          "What really happened to you that day, Heero? Why did you change so much?" The intense blue eyes closed.

          "What happened to you that day, Quatre? That day you killed all those colonists?" His eyes reopened. Quatre was sick to his stomach.

          "You didn't answer my question." 

          "You didn't answer mine." They were in a stalemate.

          "You're not really Heero, are you?"

          "When have I ever really been Heero Yuy?"

          "You know what mean. You're not pilot 01 are you?"

          "Do you enjoy games, Quatre?" Quatre blinked. That question was unexpected.

          "Yes, sometimes games can be relaxing."

          "Would you like to play a game with me?" The fourth pilot recognized those words immediately. He knew he was in danger but how could he save himself? This was Heero's domain; he had no power here.

          "I'm already playing a game with you. And when I beat you, you're going to give back the _real Heero."_

          "Quatre…" Quatre was surprised at the softer tone Heero's voice had taken. "I _am the real Heero." A somewhat mournful look came over his face._

          "You can't fool me anymore. I know you're not him."

          "You don't understand. This is me, the Heero under all the training. This is the person you get when you take away the guilt of all the people I killed. I am the _real Heero." There was silence._

          "Heero…?" Quatre reached forward. With a deafening roar, everything around him shattered into a thousand glass shards and dropped into darkness.

          "_Game over…" a little boy giggled. "__You lose." _

          Quatre slid on his side across the carpet and slammed into the wall. As he coughed in pain, crimson red liquid splattered his face and clothes. He managed to take one last blurred look at Heero through his tear-filled eyes before his mind emptied and shut down and he slipped into unconsciousness, letting the darkness consume him.

          Heero was still awake. He stared at Quatre, now a limp and lifeless bleeding doll propped lightly against the streaked wall. The realization of what had happened was slowly beginning to sink in. Somehow, a way that he was not completely sure of, he had done that to Quatre. He hadn't meant to. No, he hadn't meant to hurt the yellow haired boy. He was sorry. He hadn't meant to…he hadn't meant to… But lamenting the action did not erase it. It could not be erased now. It wasn't what he would call "bad" yet; he could tell that Quatre was still alive. Yet how he had done this was a question that needed to be answered. He looked calmly at his hand. It was clean, slightly calloused and rough from handling gundam controls and guns and swinging and dodging – toughened and strengthened by things of which his mind held no knowledge. As he looked at this unfamiliar appendage however, he could feel the strength inside it. It was more than physical strength. There was great power there and it was swelling up; maybe his hand would explode. Without warning there was pain. It caught his body in its entirety. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't blink. He could _not move. Someone had driven railroad spikes into his every joint and socket; his body was paralyzed with the numbing sensation. He trembled for a moment, cold having overrun him, until the sensation was no longer a burning pain but a soothing warmth. His body loosened. He sighed. This was the same feeling he'd had before. This was just how he'd felt before…before what? He couldn't remember. But it wasn't important now. His breath came in short, quiet gasps as he stood._

          "What…?" he wondered aloud. His hand raised slightly, his arm outstretched completely. His fingers were pointed at Quatre. All he had to do was will it…all he had to do was think it…it would happen… it would happen automatically and he wouldn't even have to move… He winced.

          "What am I…?" Faint, broken memories floated freely around his head. '_I'm not supposed to be able to do this…I'm not supposed to have these…these…powers…' His fingers splayed. The power grew. Would he really do it? Could he bring himself to do that?_

          "_Do it, Heero. He is nothing. His life is meaningless. Do it, Heero, kill him." A tiny, malicious smile was trying to form on his lips. Hungrily he watched Quatre curl and twitch, the pain bringing him back to consciousness. The smirk won as he felt Quatre's body giving under the pressure. Blood squirted randomly from the open wounds on the frail body. His eyes widened, trying to draw in everything, trying to see __everything that was happening to Quatre, to his victim, his _prey_… Louder and louder, harder and harder, faster and faster, his heart hammered inside his chest, the smirk grew to a maniacal grin, his lungs jumped to keep air flowing through him, to keep oxygen pushing past the thickening level of adrenaline, to keep him from suffocating in his own excitement, from being smothered by his want, his _need_ for blood, his __need to see Quatre die, his __need to kill Quatre – He laughed, softly at first then louder, then filled with more and more pleasure as the tiny creature writhed, screaming, begging for its life. He blinked. He was still awake. Quatre was twitching on the floor. Blood was everywhere now. It was so thick he could smell it. The person from whom the blood had oozed tried desperately to escape as he moved closer. He knelt by Quatre. The carpet was wet and warm. It was easy to lift Quatre but once he had him and was standing again, he had no idea what to do. '_What to do_?' he wondered. '_What to do with the boy I almost killed_?' Warm liquid rolled down his arm. Quatre was crying again. He knew why. He could feel the pain that he had caused. There was something inside him that enjoyed knowing he had the ability to do that to someone. Something inside him, something that had been buried deep before but was now rising to the surface, enjoyed knowing how easily he could take life. But he would not take the life of…a friend. Feeling as though he should say something he tried to speak but found himself unable to form the words. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind, knowing the feeling he wanted to convey but ignorant of the correct way to do so. _

          "Tell him you're sorry." The voice pricked his nerves, making him tense and pivot immediately, a reflex his mind had buried but his body still knew all too well. His balance wavered; his body was used to shooting then rolling for cover. He couldn't do that now.

          "You want him to know you didn't mean it, right?" There he was again. There he was – that person, that person whose name was always so close to his thoughts yet never close enough to put into his mouth. There he was – that person who pulled him back into the light when darkness threatened to take him. There he was again. There he was. He was back to give him guidance. Heero needed guidance, too; his powers were moving rapidly beyond his control and he had just barely found out that he even _had_ any powers.

          "Just tell him you're sorry. You can't do much more than that." Heero retreated a step. "Don't panic, Heero." The apparition made no effort to reassure Heero that it wouldn't harm him; it knew already that Heero did not fear it. "You're awake now. And if you work hard enough, you can control anything while you're awake, just like you would in your dreams." He smiled. Heero hesitated.

          "What about the boy?" Both the question and its answer were felt, not voiced. Heero watched the figure kneel and pick up a green ball that had bumped gently into its legs, rolling briefly over its bare feet.

          "Sometimes children need to be played with, Heero." A smile was flashed his direction but the faced sobered quickly. "Sometimes children need to be disciplined."

          "Who are you?" He received another smile.

          "I'm whoever you want me to be, Heero. If you want my name, my name is whatever word comes to mind when you think of me. The only important thing is to remember that I'm always here to help you -."

          "…Heero?" Duo was standing in the doorway holding a grease-stained towel which he'd been wiping his hands on. His eyes were slightly widened. Heero didn't realize the implications of him standing there holding Quatre, who was still bleeding profusely. Without a word he walked to Duo and handed Quatre to him. He looked away; the mere thought of what he had done, what he had nearly done, made him sick to his stomach. '_What am I…? I'm not supposed to do these things_…" The answer came to him as he listened to Duo's footsteps heading quickly in another direction. '_I am…awake.'_

          Later, everyone was in their own beds, asleep. None of them watched visions of death play across their vision over and over like ancient, time-worn movies stuck on a loop. No one else relived all the pain they'd ever felt in their lives. There were no other people who were tortured and tormented by a sick and sadistic child requesting a playmate for his horrid, gruesome games. No one but Heero suffered in that house, in that calm, quiet forest, on the outskirts of that silent city, under the muted, drowsy stars. No one else's eyes leaked tears at random, vague and muffled cries of pain and despair hidden deep within them. Pain seized no one else's body out of the blue. No one else was yanked suddenly from their sleep. Strange, undefined memories washed into no one else's mind, making their heads pound. Everyone else was asleep. Everyone else was lying peacefully in their own beds. Everyone else was dreaming of stray thoughts that had gotten off their leashes and had not been gathered and sorted by their owners. Everyone else was asleep. They would not notice the young, confused boy climbing uneasily from his bed. They would not notice that same boy backing away from the jeering child sitting on his pillow, an image that only he saw. They would not notice as he bumped into another bed and saw the person laying in it, crammed to one side, his leg dangling almost to the floor. They would not notice if he took refuge there, squeezing himself onto the opposite side, despite the generous amount of space the mattress offered. They would not notice all these things because they were asleep. But Heero was still awake.

*Hmm, does anyone notice any emphasis on any words?*


	7. Ours Alone

I have no excuse for the lateness of this chapter ^-^;

Absolute Zero

Continued

7. Ours Alone

          In the endless void of space, just beyond the reach of Earth's gravity, an OZ base hung cold and dull amongst the bright stars.

          "Colonel Une, we've located the Zero gundam!" The soldier-woman's glasses glinted as she turned to face the large computer screen. Finally she had found the one that got away. Her eyes narrowed.

          "Retrieve the gundam for further study." she ordered.

          "Yes ma'am! And the pilot, ma'am?" Silence filled the room as Col. Une's orders were awaited. After a short eternity she spoke.

          "Kill him."

***

          Eyelids still low, weighted with the heaviness of sleep, Duo rolled over to begin his attempt at getting up. He was slightly surprised when his face bumped lightly into something soft and warm. His eyes opened.

          "WHAT THE-?!" In a blur of appendages he scrambled off the bed and onto the floor. Quickly he glanced at Heero's bed and found it to be empty. He stood and walked round to the other side. Sure enough, the other person he'd bumped into was the semi-autistic boy. For a moment, he wondered why Heero was in his bed and not his own. With a start he came back to reality as the sleeping creature stirred. He watched as Heero's eyes opened. The eyes locked on him and he remembered. Heero was not the same as before.  This incident meant nothing. This person, this thing, this entity in his bed was nothing but a frightened child seeking protection. He couldn't think of it as any kind of advance; Heero most likely had no idea of the implications of the words sex or attraction anymore. He could take it as a compliment, however. Heero Yuy, seeking protection from _him_…he laughed. The very idea was ridiculous. Still, he _could take it that way… For a moment he toyed with the idea of asking Heero why he had changed beds in the middle of the night. He dismissed the thought quickly; Heero wouldn't understand enough to give him an answer._

          "He follows me…" Duo blinked in confusion.

          "What…? Did you…" He shook his head. Heero _couldn't_ have said anything.

          "He follows me." Yes, Heero was speaking. His eyes had traveled to the floor however and his words were slightly muffled. Curiously the second pilot moved closer.

          "Who follows you?"

          "He follows me. Not by Long-hair…" Duo's brows furrowed.

          "Wait, I don't understand…"

          "Not by Long-hair…not by Long-hair…" Heero's eyes closed momentarily. The soft sound of a computer beeping cut through the air before Duo could question Heero further. Annoyed, Duo straightened himself and opened the laptop. Once again he had to enter a password before the call could be accepted. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to recall what Heero had typed in. It was not long before he became frustrated.

          "Why can't I remember…?" Slowly he replayed the moment in his mind. A sharp pang of an unidentified emotion overtook his stomach as it occurred to him that Heero hadn't typed in anything, the window had simply disappeared. Why hadn't he realized this before? Why didn't he think of it at that exact moment? Perhaps he thought the computer had made a mistake in asking for the password or perhaps he had thought J had overridden it. Whatever it was, at that time he had no reason to be suspicious of Heero; back then they had no idea that Heero possessed any sort of "powers". The computer beeped again, drawing his attention back to it. Once again the password window had disappeared, but this time he didn't get to click the accept button, either. Dr. J's half-mechanical face popped up on the screen, wearing a somewhat surly expression. Duo's normally cheerful face also soured slightly.

          "What do _you want?" he demanded._

          "I want to speak to Heero, _now_."

          "Well Heero can't come to the phone right now. I'll take a message."

          "Listen boy, this is _very_ important. I need to speak with Heero – I have a new mission for him." At the sound the word "mission" the reclusive pilot's head shot up. His Prussian-blue eyes narrowed partially.

          "You saw the condition he's in, what makes you think he can go running off -!!" Dr. J's face vanished quite unexpectedly, replaced by the words "Signal Lost". After getting over the initial shock Duo looked around to see what could have caused the disconnection. Finding nothing, he shrugged and reached for the computer to turn it off.

          "It's just as well…I didn't wanna talk to him _anyway_." The screen went black before the tip of his finger even touched the laptop's mouse pad. He stared at it in surprise. 

          "What's up with this computer…?" Suspiciously he turned and glanced at Heero. The other boy was sitting silently on the edge of the bed, his eyes fixed absently on his feet. He couldn't help but wonder what Heero was capable of. Sitting there so quietly, not hiding anything but holding more mysteries than he ever had in the past, he appeared so harmless, so helpless, so…so…he looked not weak but tired. To Duo he looked as though he wanted nothing more than to sit and relax yet…they had all seen part of what he could do. What else could he do? They couldn't just ask him so how would they find out? Besides that, it was highly annoying and inconvenient not to be able to hold even a short, simple conversation with him. But why shouldn't he try? What was the worst thing that could happen if he asked Heero a question? The worst thing was that he could somehow upset Heero or not get any kind of answer.

          "What can you do, Heero?" Duo asked, leaning on the table. "What kinda freaky powers are ya hidin' from all of us?" It was a joke really. After all, he was positive Heero wouldn't answer. The steely quiet went unbroken for several minutes. Noiselessly the gossamer curtains fluttered – the window wasn't open. He jumped up by reflex when the table shook. It stopped then began again, hopping wildly until it turned over, throwing Heero's laptop and other items to the floor.

          "Um…" Deathscythe's pilot murmured. Suddenly it occurred to him that the worst thing that could happen if he asked Heero a question was _getting an answer. Slamming loudly in the frame, the window popped open, its glass cracking slightly from the force. The door swung closed so hard it bounced open again. Duo found himself moving away as the table and the things strewn about it began to move once more, jerking on the floor as though in the midst of an earthquake._

          "Heero…" Finally Heero lifted his head. Though shadowed by his messy hair, his eyes met with Duo's. Duo knew instantly that something was different. Usually Heero's face held no emotion and his eyes were empty but now he could see clearly the light of amusement shining deep within the Prussian blue orbs. Pictures flung themselves from the walls and crashed loudly to the floor. Book after book exploded from the shelves of a great oak bookshelf someone had placed in the room. The pages flapped wildly, creating a racket that dug its claws into Duo's eardrums and dragged long, deep gashes. As if to punctuate each book's shredding, the door and window slammed open and shut continually, both mimicking and mocking Duo's increasing heartbeat. The lighthearted, innocent laugh of a child echoed around him vaguely.

          "What the hell…?" He looked around for the source of the noise. A hiss of pain escaped his mouth as scissors raced through the air past him, cutting his cheek as they went. Warm blood crept down the side of his face to his neck. Placing a hand over the wound to stop the blood, he glanced about himself quickly and realized that there were numerous sharp, dangerous objects circling him.

          "What're you doing, Heero?" He watched the corners of Heero's mouth curl just the tiniest bit into a cold smirk.

          "_Ring around the rosie…" Again the voice of a child floated into Duo's ears. '_I'm hallucinating…_' the braided American told himself. '__I have to be hallucinating…Heero wouldn't do this. I know he wouldn't do this to me…'_

          "You want to know what we can do?" He spoke slowly and clearly as though conversing with an infant but another voice lay beneath his own, barely concealing itself by echoing Heero's words. Calmly, the boy Duo had only moments ago thought of as harmless watched him try to dodge razor edges flying back and forth at him from different parts of the circle. 

          "_A pocket full of posies…" The entire room shook as if having a nervous breakdown, and the deep rumbling of the tremors assaulted Duo's sensitive hearing along with the tearing of the books and the banging and clanging of the window, door, and drawers going crazy in their slots, ripping and splintering the dresser which held them._

          "We can do many things." Soon Duo was dodging a cloud of objects whether sharp or not and varying greatly in size and shape. A thick coat of crimson liquid was beginning to cover his skin, a puddle beginning to form beneath his feet, he was panting from exertion already and couldn't make it to the door. He couldn't make it to the door. Couldn't make it out the door without getting hit. Couldn't make it without getting killed. He couldn't make it…he couldn't make it… Colors swirled around him. Dizzy from blood loss and lack of oxygen he sank to one knee, still trying feebly to avoid being hit.

          "We can kill you." Heero and the Voice continued. "We can kill you and not care later." Duo swore as a book collided with his face, leaving his eye and part of his cheek bruised. But by that time the noise had awoken Wufei, whose room was just one room down the hall. Realizing the raucous was coming from the room Duo and Heero shared, he hastily got out of bed, the spread curled around his ankle holding him up but a second. With careful timing he slipped through the crazed door, already expecting whatever problem there was to be a serious one. His hands were up only in enough time to block the line of books that had flown his way.

          "What the hell's going on in here?!" he demanded. It took only a moment for him to assess the situation. Nearly everything that had been in the room was soaring haphazardly in unmarked courses, all potential dangers, all potential weapons. It proved beyond difficult to fight his way to Heero; he was unable to dodge everything and came out looking almost as beaten and bruised as the near-unconscious Duo did. Movement behind him made him spin. Duo's limp body was floating into the air, his chest rising then falling, rising, falling and this time not rising again. Wufei did the first thing that came to his mind; he punched Heero. Time froze. Then one by one the levitating objects fell. Duo was the last to land but he didn't drop immediately, he sort of glided downward. Unwittingly he curled into the fetal position when he felt solid ground beneath him once more. Heero's cheek reddened a bit but didn't swell or bruise. Wufei stepped back, trying his best to maintain his air of dignity, his skin covered more by cuts and dark bruises than his sleepwear – a mere pair of boxers – and his hair flying loosely about his head. Unsure of how to speak to Heero, he cleared his throat, thinking.

          "…Sorry…I had to do that…" he began. But Heero was not listening to him.

          "_Why didn't you kill him, Heero?"_

          "Long-hair is my friend." Wufei paused. He looked at Heero, wondering if he had really spoken a coherent sentence. The mentally maimed boy locked eyes with him.

          "Brown-eyes…thank you." At a loss for words, Wufei muttered that Heero was welcome, still wondering why he was able to speak so suddenly. He found himself wondering where Heero was going as the first pilot stood and headed toward the door going almost painfully slow, his bare feet making no sound on the stain-free carpet. Wufei begrudgingly helped Duo onto the bed then turned back to Heero.

          "Where are _you going?" he demanded. No answer was given. He followed Heero out the ruined door into the hall._

          "Where do you think you're going?!"

          "We…are being…attacked." The Chinese boy blinked a few times, trying to process the words.

          "That's crazy! No one is attacking us! If someone _were_ attacking us, we would at least have heard gunfire or some other weapon!!" Still Heero continued on.

          "We…have to…stop…the attack." Unwilling to let Heero wander about through the house, let alone the forest outside, Wufei reached forward to grab the mentally unstable pilot and keep him from going any farther. He noticed the progress of his hand impeded by pressure, as if the air around Heero had somehow become thicker, thick enough to act as a shield around him. Try as he might, he found himself unable to force his hand through it.

          "What the hell?" he wondered aloud. As he spoke, the closest door leading outside swung open to allow Heero passage, shutting again before Wufei could get through it. The Chinese pilot swore under his breath. The door wouldn't open. What should he do? There was no way he was going to just let Heero wander around outside. Suppose they actually _were_ being attacked? Glancing about, he spotted a window. He could climb out this window if needed but should he go get someone first? Duo was still unconscious; Quatre was just recovering from his…"experience", and he had no idea where Trowa was at the moment. Clearly there would be no time for him to go looking for Trowa without losing Heero and any of the few servants milling about the mansion would only get in the way. It seemed the only option was to go out the window and chase after Heero. He would figure out how to stop him and bring him back once he had caught up. Out the window he went after sliding it open. He took a moment to locate Heero then tore after him. Since the blue-eyed teen boy was only walking, he was easy to catch up with. Both of their feet stung slightly as dried plants and rocks assaulted the bare skin. Once again Wufei was unable to get his hands close enough when he reached out to grab Heero. He ran around in front of the zombie-like boy.

          "Heero, we're not being attacked! Go back into the safehouse!!" His words were ignored. An unseen force, which felt like wind to him, pushed him to the side out of Heero's path. Heero continued to walk. What now, Wufei wondered. Grabbing Heero was not an option, he could move easily any obstruction put in his path, and there was nothing out there strong enough to tie him up with if he even _could tie him up. How would he stop Heero? The answer was simple enough. He _couldn't_ stop Heero. All he could do now was follow him to make sure he didn't get killed._

          "But if he _does get killed, it's his own fault."_

          It was not long before they reached the site where the Zero Gundam had been temporarily hidden. Unable to relocate it, the four functioning pilots had opted to camouflage it as best they could. Unfortunately, it only delayed OZ's discovery of it; in the end, the enemy was able to uncover it. And as they entered the clearing, the mobile suits were attacking the gundam futilely but vigorously, unaware that its pilot was not inside.

          "Don't those idiots realize there's no one piloting it?" Wufei mumbled. He watched as Heero continued on into the midst of flying bullets. Knowing he could not stop him, he stayed under the cover of the trees. Why should he risk his own life trying in vain to save Heero? One of the giant machines turned to the boy.

          "Are you the pilot of this mobile suit?!" its pilot demanded over a loudspeaker. Heero said nothing. "If you _are_ the pilot," the soldier continued. "Then be prepared to die!" The words were immediately followed by a string of hot shells. Heero tilted his head slightly. Wufei frowned.

          "He's going to get himself killed!!" But the over-sized ammo veered harmlessly off to the side.

          "What?" The pilot's surprise was clear. It should have been a direct hit and he knew it. But for some reason… He tried a second time. The angle of Heero's head lowered. Almost immediately, the bullets turned sharply back on the OZ mobile suit, shredding its cockpit beyond recognition. The long, terrified howl of the pilot was the last sound that came from it.

          "What's he _doing?" Wufei's eyes blinked in confusion as he observed the slaughter of the rest of the soldiers. '__He's becoming dangerous…' Heero turned to the last, crippled Leo. Horrified, the pilot scrambled back as the suit's camera zoomed in on the boy before it, covering all his screens with the teen's face. A few people back at the OZ base jumped in surprise as the same image appeared on the main screens._

          "_Leave us alone." Then, showing only the beginnings of an explosion, it was gone. The glasses-wearing general narrowed her eyes. She would not let a mere boy ruin her mission. She would not let him make her fail. She would not fail His Excellency – ever._

***

          "I'm telling you, he _knew_ that they would die!! He _intended_ to kill them!" Quatre shook his head at Wufei.

          "He doesn't know what it means to kill anymore, Wufei. How could he possibly have done it on purpose?"

          "His memories must be coming back or something! He can speak now – how do you know he doesn't understand killing now as well?!"

          "Even if he did," Duo interjected. "What does it matter? We kill OZ soldiers all the time."

          "It matters because he didn't kill them for any war-related reasons, he just killed them just because they…" Altron's pilot hesitated. "He did it just because they were there."

          "How could you _possibly_ know that?!" Duo argued.

          "I know because I f-!!" The rest of the pilots waited for Wufei to continue. "I…I felt it." he murmured.

          "What do you mean you _felt_ it?" Trowa asked.

          "I can't explain it. It was like a message in my mind…I can't really remember it now but I know he only did it because he didn't want them there!!"

          "I'm sorry Wufei, but you really need more proof." Frustrated, the Chinese teen stood, slamming his fist on the table top.

          "What more proof do I need than what he did to all of _you_?!_ I'm telling you he's dangerous!!!" His eyes perceived that same dangerous boy before he could stop the statement. Like a deer caught in headlights, he stared at the Prussian blue icicles gazing back at him from the doorway. It didn't matter that Heero could not tell them how long he had been standing there. Wufei didn't need to ask. He knew that Heero had heard enough. Heero had heard what they said. And he had understood it. Silence reigned over the room for a moment. Pilots two through five stared at the first pilot, waiting for his reaction as though it were a divine judgment from the gods. _

          Much to their surprise, Heero said nothing. He simply smiled. It was not a sinister smirk which implied that excruciating pain would follow. Nor was it a large, toothy grin which foreshadowed a horrifyingly slow and mind-numbing death. It was only a smile – innocent, like that of a child. It was simply a smile – which promised eternal suffering in the depths of a Hell far worse than any human mind had ever conceived. Wufei knew all too well that this was a battle he could not win. Its victor had been decided even before he began to retreat. But even that he could not do. The spray of his own blood cut his vision off from all other objects but Heero's smiling face. Through the thunderous sound of silence he could hear the singing of children. Continually they sang, raising their voices in joy as his weakening body fell deeper and deeper into despair. A voice that sounded vaguely like Heero's yet much younger spoke to him.

          "_Bye-bye, Brown-eyes!!_" Nothing registered in his mind as his body hit the linoleum. Without so much as a scream, moan, any sign of pain, he lay, eyes wide and pupils contracted to mere pinpoints. The cries of the other pilots went unnoticed by him; no longer did the name Wufei hold any meaning. No longer were their faces of any significance for it was not their faces he saw, but rather blank slates. Clean paper upon which no name, past, or any other information was written. Blood gushing from his nose, from his mouth, from his eyes, blood running warm down his chest he lay, his mind encased in a torture chamber of its on creation. One in which he knew no one. He knew nothing. Where he was all alone. He was all alone…

          "Wufei, can you _hear_ me?" Again and again Quatre prodded the fifth pilot's body, trying to bring his mind back into focus. The blood slowed to a stop but still Wufei did not respond. His eyes were wide open but it was as though he were in a coma.

          "Heero…what did you do to him?" Duo's hurt and confused gaze fell upon the Japanese teen, dissolving his smile quickly. He hadn't wanted to hurt Wufei. It was the boy. He _knew_ it was the boy. The boy who haunted his every thought, who pursued him wherever he tried to escape, even into the recesses of his own mind – too complex was it for him to understand that there is no where to run when you are running from yourself. So far out of the range of his comprehension was all of it that he could not in any way express it to the others. But the fact that he had not wanted to do it did not mean he felt remorse. He couldn't feel remorse. He couldn't feel remorse. He couldn't feel remorse. He couldn't feel… he couldn't feel… he _couldn't feel…_

          "_You can't feel, Heero. You can't think. You belong to me now."_

          "I…belong…" Duo jumped before he could finish.

          "Get down!" he yelled. Heero did not understand. He stood there as the tiny red dot of light moved over his body. The window through which the beam had traveled shattered, a single projectile speeding straight toward the unsuspecting Heero. Still injured, the young American pilot could not make it to Heero in enough time to push him out of the way.

          "HEERO!!"__


	8. Wandering Dragon

Bet you all thought I'd stopped writing this…

Absolute Zero

Continued

8. Wandering Dragon

          Loneliness – one of the worst states of being imaginable. To be alone in the darkness, crawling blindly, feeling around for anything to guide you and finding nothing is a horrid experience. It is terrible to have no one. It is far worse not to have yourself. The nameless boy, the boy without Identity, looked about himself, wondering where, who, what, why, how – just wondering. He gazed upon his own body and the black clouds lifted a little. '_I am human_.' Now he knew that much about himself. '_I am… a human male._' Still more the clouds lifted. Muffled voices buzzed in his ears, becoming more distinct and clear as he rose from his dream back into reality. '_I am…awake_.' And since he was awake, he was more self aware and could feel pressure at the back of his head. Gently he reached back, trying to avoid causing more pain. His fingers brushed against a knot, a ball, some hard thing… He pulled and the formation slid along something and came off. Further examination found it to be a ring made of an elastic material. Soft black hair fell around his face as he discarded the rubber band. That felt better. Now what of those voices? His balance wavered dangerously as he stood and he became dizzy. Bracing himself against the wall, he made his way toward the general direction of the voices. After a while he reached a room in which three boys were gathered around a table, speaking. Staying carefully hidden behind a wall he listened.

          "I know we need to get him back Duo, but for now there isn't much we can do. So let's just look at what I've decoded from Heero's writing on the wall. It might help us restore him to normal. Don't you agree that it would be easier to rescue him if he could think and defend himself?" Muffled grumbling came after the words.

          "Here, this is what I have so far. Some of the elements of this segment draw on things that aren't there so I had to program those parts in myself, as best I could. I don't know if it's what I did or just the way this segment is, but this is what I get when I try to run the program." The boy leaned forward enough to let one eye perceive what was on the computer screen. Graphs, scripts, and other images flashed, not seeming to follow any logical or coherent order.

          "What is it??" A boy with an exceptionally long braid asked.

          "Well…I'm not entirely sure…" The blonde nibbled his lip.

          "I know what it is." the third one spoke up quietly. "I saw the same thing when I tried to start Wing Zero."

          "Are you _sure_, Trowa?" The third boy nodded in response to the question.

          "It's part of the ZERO system."

          "But how would Heero memorize the code of the system? It doesn't show anywhere in the start up. I guess he might have looked at it before but even then…there's no way anybody could memorize the exact order of a bunch of ones and zeros!"

          "Heero isn't just anybody, anymore."

          "I don't know, Trowa. I think Duo's right. He couldn't have just memorized that sequence…but maybe…maybe it was imprinted into his mind."

          "Imprinted? How do you mean?"

          "Yeah Quatre, you're makin' it sound like…I dunno, like saving somethin' to a disk."

          "Maybe that _is_ what it's like. Maybe that's what happened."

          "Quatre…are you saying that Heero has part of the ZERO system actually _downloaded_ into his brain?"

          "Well…maybe…um…I don't know. I guess it does sound silly."

          "Maybe, maybe not…I mean, brains are just a bunch of networks like computers, right? They use electricity for communication too. It might actually be possible to program a brain like installing uh…certain things onto a computer."

          "Certain things…Duo, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that bill -."

          "You're right, Duo. Brains _can_ be programmed. By conditioning, teaching, and even…even electro convulsive shock therapy." Silence followed this statement. The boy was unsure, but he thought something extremely important had just been said.

          "Heero was electrocuted…the electricity flowing through him could have acted as electro convulsive shock therapy."

          "Except because ZERO would have still been communicating to his brain, _that's_ what was laid down."

          "This all sounds a little crazy…"

          "But it could account for Heero's memory loss, as well. And it makes sense that some abilities like speaking would come back as his brain adapted to the new neuron networks there. I don't think it's at all as far-fetched as it sounds. If it _is_ true, however…" The blonde shook his head as he spoke. "Then Heero has been on ZERO this entire time. There's no telling how warped his perception of the world is now." After a while, the long-haired boy spoke.

          "Alright, let's say it _is_ the ZERO system. How are we supposed to get rid of it and put him back to normal?"

          "I guess we'd have to download it out of his brain, somehow."

          "Heero's not a computer, you know. We can't just click his mouse a few times and make him upload! And we sure as hell can't just press control, alt, and delete and restart him. So then what are we supposed to do?! Last time I checked, no one had a way of downloading brain pathways."

          "We'll think of something, Duo." the green-eyed boy said calmly. "For now, getting mad isn't going to help anything." Duo, as the boy now assumed to be his name, sat back in his chair and sighed, frustrated. The blonde one, Quatre, also sighed.

          "I wonder if Wufei is awake yet…" he murmured absently.

          "Hope he's okay…the last thing we need is _two_ pilots out of commission."

          "Maybe we should have taken him to the hospital."

          "We can't afford to be seen so much. He'll be fine."

          "Besides, he never would've forgiven us if he woke up in a hospital bed." Duo laughed quietly at his own comment. '_Who are they talking about_?' the boy wondered. '_Are they talking about…me? Am I this Wufei person_?'

          "I guess I'll go check on him." Duo stood and started towards the very doorway the nameless boy was hiding behind. In a panic he looked for somewhere to hide but it was only a few seconds before Duo had entered the room and was looking straight at him.

          "Hey Wufei, you're up!!" Before he knew what was happening, he was caught in a rather tight hug. '_Well an enemy wouldn't hug me…he must be a friend but who is he_?' Hesitantly he began to raise his arms, intending to return the hug in hopes that it was the correct thing to do. Duo pulled away before he could do anything, however, and the two of them stood there giving each other puzzled looks.

          "What, no swearing? No 'Damn it, Maxwell, get off of me'? And why is your hair down?"

          "I…" He paused, took a moment to analyze the sound of his own voice. "I…" He took note of the vibrations in his throat where his Adam's apple was. "I…aye…ah-ye…" Noticing the stare Duo was giving him, he quickly finished. "I untied it."

          "Are you okay?" Wufei nodded. After a moment, Duo lifted a hand to feel Wufei's forehead, expecting the Asian teen to draw away immediately. Instead, he stood there quietly and patiently as Duo reached forward. In wonderment, Wufei scrutinized the sensation of Duo's hand on his head. He observed that it was soft yet not delicate, as Duo, like the other pilots, used his hands for hard labor and for piloting. Some part of his mind set before him an image of Duo brushing hair from his eyes and reassuring him that he would not be alone in his darkness for long. Unbeknownst to him, his mouth had opened slightly as he'd been daydreaming. Only when Duo raised an eyebrow and waved a hand in front of his eyes did he realize and press his lips into a thin line. His eyes locked on his hands as his thumbs, seemingly with minds of their own, fought one another, a contest of which appendage could distract his mind more from what it had just been thinking. Quatre stepped into the room.

          "What's going on, Duo? Is he okay?"

          "I don't know. He said he's okay but he's actin' funny…"

          "Do you want to lie down for a bit more, Wufei? We have a little time to spare, I think." Wufei shook his head.

          "Why so quiet, Wu-man? Speak up some! Come on, yell at us, tell us how you're fine and make us stop babying you!" He hesitated.

          "I'm fine…so stop babying me." Duo didn't buy it for a second. Wufei hadn't thought he would.

          "Wufei…what's wrong with you?" What was he supposed to say? The words were simple: I don't remember you. But the action, actually _saying_ those words seemed too complex for his mind to handle. And what if this Duo person turned out to be more than just a friend? He didn't really want to hurt his feelings by telling him he had no idea who he was, especially if they were brothers or…perhaps…maybe… His face turned red with embarrassment but his lips turned upward just a bit. Duo leaned down, trying to get a good look at his face.

          "Are you smiling??"

          "Duo, please be serious. Wufei, if something is wrong, you can tell us. We're your friends." There was a long pause and then finally,

          "I…can't remember anything."

***

_          Heero…Heero, wake up. Wake up. Hey…!_

          "Hey! Hey, wake up ya stupid kid!!" Heero felt a sharp pain in his side. He opened his eyes in just enough time to see a boot moving away from him, taking its place once again to help balance the body it was attached to. In a daze he laid where he was, not really realizing he had been kicked. Nor did he realize that his limbs were tied – his wrists with cuffs, his legs with regular rope – and that he could not move. Since he did not have a desire to move, he went on not knowing it.

          "Come on, we're almost to the base and I'm not carrying you again." The OZ soldier nudged Heero with his foot. Heero looked up at him. "Hey…s-stop looking at me like that." And Heero received another kick. "Damn creepy kid…" Hesitantly, the soldier knelt beside Heero and examined him. "Y'know, you got a young, innocent face. Don't even really look like a boy that much…kinda like a girl with a short hair cut." He enjoyed a good laugh at his own comment while Heero watched, bewildered. "I don't know why they made such a big deal about you. I bet you couldn't squash a dead fly. I've kicked you twice and you don't look like you even know it!" After laughing a bit more, the soldier, who was not much older than Heero, reached out and brushed a bit of the Japanese teen's still rigid hair out of his face.

          "Man, you really do look like a girl…" The door opened and another soldier leaned into the room.

          "Hey, we're docked. Bring the kid. Hey, what are you doing over there??"

          "Give me a minute, would you? I'm feeling a little lonely." A sick and twisted grin spread across his face. The other soldier only sighed and rolled his eyes.

          "Just don't take forever, okay? I don't want this delivery to be _too_ late." With that said, he left, closing the door firmly. Heero felt himself being lifted into a sitting position, and though he hated the contact, did not resist. He had no idea of what was about to come and the tranquilizer still lingering in his system wasn't helping his awareness at all. In wonder, he watched as the soldier untied the rope around his legs. Nothing was covering his feet and the harsh cold of the metallic floor bit into the sensitive flesh as the bottoms of his feet came to rest on it. Even more skin was exposed to the cold floor as his shorts and underwear were removed.

          "Look at that – staying quiet, just like a good little boy. I promise you'll like this." The sound of clinking and rustling reached Heero's ears. He felt a small pressure at the base of his spine.

          "_Heero, wake up. Why are you letting him do this?_"

          "I don't know what he's doing to me, Little Boy. I don't know what he's doing to me." His eyes widened as the pressure grew. Breath rushed hotly from his nostrils, denoting his surprise and discomfort.

          "_Kill him, Heero. Don't let him defile you this way._"

          "But-"

          "_Look into his eyes. That will make him stop_."

          "Right, I forgot about that. Thank you, Little Boy. You have the best ideas."

          "_Go on, it will be fun to play with him_." The soldier looked up at Heero's face in surprise as a soft sound reached his ears, something between a grunt and a whimper. The young face was flushed, his mind overloaded with the multiple sensations.

          "So, you _do_ like this…" His own eyes began to widen in disbelief as the rich brown hair he had earlier brushed aside now began to stand high on the boy's head. Electricity crackled around him.

          "Wh-what the hell?!" As a new pressure began to build inside him, deep within his lower half, he lifted his hands and took the soldier's chin in them, ensuring that eye contact would be made. Instantly the man was paralyzed with fear, frozen in the knowledge that those eyes, ridiculously blue, shining with false innocence, those eyes would be the last thing he saw. Heero's lips shaped themselves into a cruel smile.

          "Die." In an explosion of pain, power, and pleasure, the man was gone. Intoxicated, Heero bathed himself in the still warm flesh raining down around him. Laughing, he tasted the blood dripping from the ceiling onto his face. '_I didn't know killing could feel like this_…' He rolled onto his side slowly and relaxed, still smiling from the experience and paying no mind to the bodily fluids being soaked up by the front of his shirt. Even the soldiers rushing in around him, trying to subdue him despite his calmness, could not tear him from his reverie. '_We have to kill more, Little Boy_.' The soldiers exchanged questioning glances as Heero spoke.

          "Yes, Heero…a lot more." Not one soldier's spine remained unshaken as the Wing pilot's soft, child-like laughter echoed through the hollow, dead metal of the ship. It was like hearing Death only two steps behind.

***

          "So, you don't remember _anything_? Not even _us_?" Wufei shook his head. "What about Heero? Do you remember him? Do you remember what _happened_ to him?" Again Wufei shook his head.

          "The name isn't even familiar."

          "I suppose, then, that you don't remember how to pilot your gundam?" Trowa watched Wufei carefully after posing the question. Wufei made a face.

          "What's a gundam?" Duo sighed and let his head drop onto the table after Wufei spoke. After thoroughly pondering the action, Wufei patted Duo's back.

          "It'll be okay…" Surprised, the American teen looked up at him. Wufei pulled his hand back.

          "Sorry…" he mumbled.

          "Nah, it's okay, I guess. It's just weird. Usually if you ever touch me it's because you're punching me or something." Wufei frowned inwardly.

          "So…I guess you and I didn't have the greatest of relationships."

          "Relationship…?" Realizing what he had said he blushed and quickly tried to give it a new meaning.

          "Well yes…obviously we know each other…or at least you know me… so we must have had some kind of…relation to each other."

          "Yeah, I guess you could call it a love-hate relationship." Duo laughed and in relief, Wufei laughed quietly along with him.

          "Well," Quatre began. "This may not be as bad a set back as we first thought it would be. I mean, we don't need to take the gundams for this anyway, at least, not all of them. So Wufei can still come with us and help get Heero back." Trowa nodded in agreement.

          "Yes, Wufei might still be able to use his fighting abilities, though on an almost purely subconscious level."

          "Fighting…abilities?"

          "Yeah, you know kung fu or karate or something." Duo interjected. "Plus you have a sword that you always threaten to cut off my braid with…" Without knowing it, Wufei widened his eyes in surprise and slight offense.

          "Why would anyone want to cut off something so…" But he stopped himself from complimenting the braid. From complimenting Duo. Clearly their relationship was purely professional and very limited. He would not do anything to breach that if he could help it. The subsequent awkward silence was broken by Trowa's calm voice.

          "Usually, amnesia doesn't affect memories more than at least ten years ago," he stated. "So perhaps you still remember those fighting techniques on a subconscious level. In fact, for that very same reason, I think your memories have been suppressed, not erased entirely. But you need a sort of "trigger" to overcome whatever is suppressing them and access them."

          "So you're saying…that if I'm in a situation like one I was in when I learned them…then I'll remember them?"

          "Not exactly. It would be as though the memory jumped to the surface so you could use it for self-preservation. It most likely wouldn't be a conscious decision, more like a reflex, and you most likely wouldn't remember how you did it or what exactly you did after it had happened."

          "But," Quatre chimed. "That can still be useful. At least you won't be completely helpless if you get attacked." The comment wasn't terribly reassuring, but at least he had tried. Wufei's brown eyes studied his feet. These people needed him. For what, he didn't know. But he knew that they needed him, had been counting on him, and whatever he had done to lose his memories, however he had lost those memories, the loss of those memories rendered him useless to them. He had let them down. He had failed them. Had failed to help them…to help himself…to help him…to help her…her, like him, full of pride, like him, but pride of a different kind, a warrior's pride, a fighter's pride. Her pride hadn't been enough…and he hadn't been enough…hadn't been there to…save her? To…help her? Who was this…this girl, this woman, this…this…Mei…Mei…Who is she? Oh…who is she… damn it who is she, oh damn it who, _who_? Oh…damn it, I just feel-

          "So damn weak…" He blinked. The words had forced their way out of his mouth. He hadn't intended… He didn't know what they meant. Why did he suddenly feel so angry? It was passing now, fading now. He shook his head to clear it. The others were looking at him. They watched, questioning, wondering if he would explain his comment.

          "That sounded more like the Wufei I know!" Duo thumped Wufei – not Wufei, the person wearing Wufei's face – on the back. The boy shook his head. '_Is that me? That anger…that feeling of…is that really me? Is that who I am? I don't…I don't want to be that way…I don't want that to be me. Afraid of emotion? Afraid to show emotion? Afraid to cry? But willing to jump right into death, to die, to kill, and be killed, and kill or be killed, an animal? Full of hate? Full of sadness? Guilt? Is that me? What horrible things have I done in my life? What horrible things have I done that I have to feel that guilt, that pain, that I have to bear that burden? What horrible things have I done, still a child, to carry such weight, and feel I have to curse myself, call myself weak, for desiring for even a moment to be free of that burden, for remembering that I _am_ still young and that someone so young should not have to bear so much responsibility so soon? What have I done? What have I done??_'

***

Brown eyes turned left, surveying the land. It was a grassy field. The flowers had just begun to bloom. It was spring, it was warm. It was nice. The eyes turned right and took in the blue sky, dotted sporadically with a few clouds here and there. The eyes turned and met another blue, a deeper blue, much more blue than the sky. Bluer even than the ocean, it seemed, and as deep, deeper than the ocean as well. Vision drew back some to perceive the entire being. It was another boy, muscular, short, chocolaty hair, messy hair… Heero…

          "Wufei…" The boy's brown eyes widened slightly. He heard his voice.

          "What?" Heero moved closer, something of an expression forming on his face.

          "You can hear me?" The boy felt his own face twist into a look of annoyance, though he did not will it.

          "Of course I can hear you. You're standing right here talking to me, aren't you? Be serious, Yuy." Now it was Heero's turn to look annoyed as he stopped within arm's reach of the boy.

          "No, I'm not standing right here. And neither are you. You're dreaming."

          "I don't…dream about boys…" Clouds began to roll in. Thunder rippled softly above them.

          "Listen to me. You're going to wake up soon."

          "I'm not dreaming, damn it! If I was dreaming, I'd know. Everything here is too realistic to be a dream." His body bent, his hand plucked some grass and his nose sniffed it. It smelled like grass. It felt like grass. It was grass. Real grass.

          "Fine, you don't need to believe me, just listen." His next words were drowned out by the thunder, now louder than before. His brown eyes watched Heero's face contort in frustration and anger. Heero knew that the boy couldn't hear him anymore. His brown eyes blinked, his face frowned in shock as around him the field melted away, swallowed by darkness, light enough only for him to see Heero as he sat, frustrated, pissed, trapped…

          "What is this place?!" His mouth demanded. Heero didn't bother to reply. The thunderous echo of his name being called would nullify the words and he knew it. He would just have to wait until Wufei was asleep again. Then he could try again…then he could try…but…but would he be asleep at the same time too?

          "Wufei, wake up!" Wufei woke to the sound of Duo calling him and shaking him and Quatre pleading with him not to shake him like that, you'll break his neck, and Trowa asking if maybe they _should_ take him to the hospital after all but no, he was awake now, never mind…

          "What happened?" He sat up and rubbed his head.  
          "Aw man, you scared us! You started breathin' all hard and you just passed out!" '_So I _was_ dreaming…_'

          "I saw him…"

          "You saw who?"

          "Heero…I saw him in my dream. He was trying to tell me something."

          "So you remember who Heero is now?" Trowa asked, kneeling by Wufei.

          "No…I don't know how but his name just…came to me. I still have no idea who he is…or how I know him…" Duo helped him up.

          "So, what was he tryin' to tell you?" Wufei lowered his head a little, thinking.

          "At first he was trying to convince me that I was dreaming…but then I couldn't hear what he was saying…I think I was hearing you. You…Duo I mean…trying to wake me up…"

          "Oops, I guess…oh well. So you didn't get anything, huh? Damn…"

          "It was just a dream, Duo. It probably wasn't really Heero trying to talk to him."  
          "But if it was…then I made him miss something important." Quatre patted Duo reassuringly.

          "Don't worry, Duo." he said. "We'll find Heero and get him back." He sighed after speaking. "For now, though, maybe it's just best if we all go to bed. It's late and we're not going to be able to think straight if we're tired."

          "Yeah…Well, night all! C'mon Wufei, I'll show you where your room is." Wufei followed Duo quietly, still mulling the dream over in his mind. The dream…if it had been a dream, that is… It had seemed so real. But why would Heero try to contact him and not the others? Did he have a better friendship with this other boy? Or was it perhaps that Heero _couldn't_ contact the others? 

          "This is my room, here…and yours is in that door right there. See? Only one room down from mine. So I'm close by if ya need anything, okay?" Duo laughed. "It feels really weird talking to you like I'm your nurse or something. I'm so used to you telling me how you don't need anyone's help any stuff like that." He turned to see chestnut eyes staring into his own. They looked soft, very unusual for Wufei's eyes. They must have been standing close…he'd never really had cause to notice that Wufei's eyes really were brown, not black. Not little pieces of hard coal…watery… like little porcelain cups holding tea. Wufei turned away.

          "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I was thinking."

          "About what?"

          "The dream I had. I…was just wondering…I don't know. Never mind, it isn't important." That was the moment to go to his room. But Duo was still standing there. He couldn't just brush past the boy and go on, that would be rude. But perhaps that was what Duo expected. He had no way of knowing… The two ended up staring at each other, one wondering why even the simplest decision was troubling him so, the other wondering what was wrong with the boy standing in front of him.

          "You're_ sure_ you're okay?"

          "Yes." Wufei nodded. Silence. Stillness of the air, quiet, awkward pause… Awkward only for one, the faceless boy who'd lost his identity, who was unsure of his feelings… His mind played over and over a scene as though from a movie, one in which he and Duo leaned in… But the scene never finished. It would only restart before any sort of contact was made between the two people in it. It would play then begin again without finishing, play then begin again, play, start over, play, play like his mind was playing with him, toying with him, confusing him, this was confusing him, he was confused, he was disoriented, he didn't know which way was up, which way, which way was the right way, left way, wrong way, it was wrong to think such a thing about Duo, about any boy, it was wrong, it wasn't the way, he had lost his way…

          "Well, goodnight! Sleep tight. Don't let the bed-bugs bite." The fading sensation of a congenial pat on the shoulder was all Duo left behind as he walked into his room and closed the door. Wufei let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding and found that he was panting. His heart was racing. He'd nearly caused himself to faint a second time. After a brief pause to let himself calm down, he started towards his room, the only way he was sure of anymore.

          "I should stop thinking so much."

*** 

          Footsteps echoed through the black fog. He stopped, halted, looked down at his bare feet, then continued walking. Finally, he came upon the person he'd been looking for. A child was with him. The child gazed at him curiously, holding a small green ball.

          "Who's that, Heero?"

          "No one." Heero crossed the small space between them. Wufei leaned to look around him, to catch one more glimpse at the child, but the boy was gone.

          "You must be asleep again. I haven't woken up since last time."

          "Who…who _are_ you?" The Prussian eyes blinked.

          "Heero…it's me, Heero." Now the brown eyes blinked.

          "It was that boy you saw. He tried to get me to kill you. I stopped at the last minute and it must have only affected your memories."

          "What was it supposed to do??"

          "…Shut off your brain…" Wufei retreated a step.

          "I'm not going to kill you, Wufei. I need a favor." The Chinese teen pondered this. If it was only a dream, it couldn't hurt…a dream. Yes, this was a dream. He could do anything he wanted…and there would be no consequences. He could test his feelings…explore what he had been thinking when he had been talking to Duo in the hallway…Duo… Slowly the image appeared before him.

          "Wufei, I need you to listen to me." Heero glanced at the dream image of Duo. "I just need this one thing and then you can go back to dreaming whatever you want."

          "I don't dream about boys. I don't…I'm not like that…I'm just confused right now." His eyes turned back to Heero as the frustrated pilot shook him. 

          "Listen to me! I need your body."

          "My body…? I…I don't think I go that way…"

          "I don't mean… Just let me borrow it."

          "Well since it's only a dream, I suppose you can…"

          Wufei's eyes snapped open in the darkness. His thigh and side muscles tightened, bending his spine so he was sitting upright. Like a rabbit afraid to emerge from its burrow he looked around. There was no one else in the room. After sliding quietly from the bed, he ventured to the mirror on the distant wall. Yes, that was Wufei's face. He had control of his body. But he wouldn't have it for long. Quickly he made his way, or Wufei's way, or the body's way, he made way for Duo's room and entered. Duo was asleep, one leg hanging off one side of the bed, one arm hanging off the other.

          "Hn…" He hated for Duo to be the one he had to try to convince. However, Duo's room was closest, and there was no time to spare. Roughly he grabbed Duo and shook, keen awareness of time constraints dwarfing thoughts of courtesy. 

          "Huh – w-what the hell? Wufei??" Duo blinked groggily.

          "It's Heero. I'm still alive. They're holding me on one of OZ's mobile bases."

          "Huh? What are you talkin' about, Wufei?"

          "I'm not Wufei, I'm _Heero_. My mind has been compromised. I barely remember anything…I've been hallucinating… I can't function like this." Duo stared up with wide eyes.

          "Heero??? Whoa, how are you -?"

          "I don't have time to explain. I've been killing people needlessly and when they wake me, it's going to happen again. And if you don't get here soon, I doubt I'll recognize any of you at all, much less as people who aren't my enemies. My mind is fading quickly…I can't even hold onto Wufei's memories…I can't remember your name…" He blinked and his expression softened somewhat. "I can't remember you…Duo…I'm sorry…" Duo shook his head, tossing his messy bangs to and fro.

          "You don't have to apologize, Heero, just…tell me what you need me to do! Heero??" The tea cups blinked at him.

          "No, I'm not Heero…" Half asleep, the nameless boy, the boy who would look into a mirror and see nothing, gently fell onto the cushion of Duo's bed. "I'm _not_ Heero, but I don't know who I _am_." His eyes closed completely, giving way to sleep. Somehow his fingers found the end of Duo's braid and they, like the fingers of a newborn who knows only the safety its mother provides, closed around the soft hair.

          "Am I still dreaming…?" he murmured, just before slumber overtook him. Duo stared, wondering, wandering with his mind. He spoke as he lay down to reach back into his own dreams.

          "Yeah."

  
***

Shounen-ai anyone? But that's all, I mean it. This isn't a romance fic. I dunno there might be more later. Anyway, upon engaging in a course in Psychology, I learned that people _can_ become autistic and that I was previously misinformed. But in order for this to be accurate, I will have to say that Heero is autistic, bipolar, has illusionary schizophrenia and is homicidal. 


End file.
